I’m at a loss here.

Ladies (and dudes) I don’t know what to do. My husband believes in corporal punishment with our children (2 years and a newborn). I don’t. It feels like abuse to me, and I witnessed it for the first time today, so I took my daughter out of the house to a safe place (she’s 2 years old). He tells our newborn to shut up, but has never physically harmed the baby.

When I returned, he told me I was overreacting and that clearly I didn’t trust him, because he would never “go too far” and hurt our kids. I’m sorry, but putting your hands around my child’s neck and saying “shut up” to “shock” her out of her tantrum is bullshit.

“Maybe we should get a divorce, clearly we aren’t compatible with our parenting style,” he tells me. He was also mad that I left for five hours so he couldn’t get shopping done (one car household). He also said I can’t come home and give him the silent treatment. Well I came home to the garage light off and a locked door, and when I got in he was on the couch, arms crossed, looking all pissed off.

Abusers always try to make you out to be the bad guy, right? I don’t think I’m overreacting. He suggested we get divorced and each take a kid, I said no, I’m not splitting up my babies. Then he said, “Fine take them, I will start over with someone new . . .” Wow okay.

What happened to the kind man I married? Where did he go? Why did he change after having kids? He said he wanted a family and said that he wants to be a good dad. Should I leave? How can I legally leave the state with my babies?