Trigger Warning DV & abortion— please help

This is going to be a long post but please read, please give advice, I’m so desperate it’s not funny.

Me and my husband are both 21, we’ve been together 3 years and we share a 2 year old daughter. We met in college, and now we live together in a house owned by his trust fund. I have local family, they’re just pretty dysfunctional and chaotic. I work a part time job and my mom watches my daughter when I work. My husband pays a lot of the bills, and he comes from a lot of money, while my family has always been lower middle class. I have 300$ in my savings and that all I have.

When I met my husband I was charmed by him, and missed alot of red flags I should have seen. He’s been disloyal to me from the beginning on and off, starting online, but I forgave him over and over. He’s always been troubled; he’s got alot of childhood trauma starting from his biological family being murdered when he was a toddler to his adopted father dying of a brain aneurysm with him being home alone at 9. He’s got bad ADHD and other mental health issues, and anger problems. He’s never physically hit me but he screams, he used to call me names, and he grabs me sometimes, and gives me intimidating looks. While I was pregnant he was inconsistent in my life, and was unknowingly suffering from a cocaine addiction on top of his infidelity. He once broke my dads car window because he was angry at my parents for not letting him move back in but lied about it until months later. He stole money from me twice while I was pregnant, cheated on me with a coworker when I was 9 months pregnant that I didn’t find out until months later. He spent most of my daughters early months out with friends late almost every night or working night shift jobs, so it’s taken a very long time for him and our daughter to bond at all. We’ve had ups and downs, good periods and very bad ones. I eventually started giving back what he gives me, I yell back and sometimes stand up for myself. He’s been trying to work on himself and us since I moved back in several months ago. I talked to someone during a 3 month separation online because I was lonely, but it didn’t go beyond that and I ended things as soon as me and my husband decided to work things out, which he found out about a couple weeks ago and got very angry and mistrustful of me over it. He’s threatened to hurt me in the past if I ever cheated on him, once telling me my jaw would be hanging off my face if he ever caught me cheating.

I just recently found out I was pregnant despite being on birth control, and when I first told him I was very distraught because we can’t afford another child on top of the stress on what we already have going on, so we agreed to abortion, but initially he told me if I aborted it he would leave me. It made me confused and emotional but eventually he changed his mind and didn’t want me to keep it, so I aborted it and it was a very emotional thing for me, but when I tried to lean on him for support he basically kept trying to just make me get over it and said cold things to me, like “it’s an abortion what do you expect it to be like”. It really took a toll on me and I felt alone.

The week I was going to get the abortion I got really bad morning sickness and he just acted irritated with me the whole week. We went grocery shopping and I felt sick and zoned out and he told me I needed to be present or we’d leave. It hurt me a lot.

Today he asked if I’d be cool with him going to a college block party a town over and I expressed my discomfort, especially considering 2 months ago he got a DUI out of town that’s put us in a terrible position, and that when I ask to go to get together with friends he won’t help me watch our daughter or gets angry/jealous. He pretended to understand but when he came home he tried to guilt me about it, and acted like I should be able to trust him. He also got angry that I brought up he doesn’t let me to go parties, and continuously brings up that 4 years ago I had a threesome at a party, and that if I went to a party I’d just get f*cked. Even though I don’t go to parties like that anymore and I’ve changed alot since then.

I tried to tell him that was the final straw, I was leaving tomorrow and he got on top of me and held me back, screaming “stop” and that I wasn’t going to leave, because I’ve bluffed before. I told him I was serious but he told me no. I’ve tried to leave in the past and he blocks the exit and just talks me out of it. I truly feel like I have no escape. I feel sorry for my daughter and I want to get out. I’m tired of this endless cycle and I’m tired of lying to everyone that I’m okay. He put a hole In our daughters bedroom wall, and I have 1 picture of fingerprint bruises from him but that’s the only evidence I have. He has a lot of money and could easily take our daughter. I don’t want to lose her, she’s the only thing I have left keeping me alive. I feel so broken and alone, and everything I own is in this house. Please help me. I don’t know what to do. I can’t afford a lawyer, i have limited childcare and I’m married to a wealthy family so I’m screwed as far as government assistance goes.