Baby daddy doesn’t help

Let me start if by saying he was the one who wanted a family and threw my birth control away, so I agreed then I charged him for domestic violence because he got drunk and beat me up in front of our son while I was pregnant and threatened to hurt the babies if I left him, and held a knife to us too.. but court went fast so they dismissed his charges and the no contact order, I filed for child support, he still has to go to mental health once a week, but he wants nothing to do with our babies and neither does his family, if you want proof I have a letter from his sister saying she doesn’t want me to contact them for help anymore because I took my son back from them, only because she left him with his dad alone to go drink, but with no support, I basically pay everything myself and been raising them alone since they were born, I gave birth to them alone.. lol I filed for CS but nothing.. and I could file for custody but they said he will likely get visitation rights and it scares me to think of him being alone with my babies.. I’m still traumatized even though it was two years ago.. but how can I get him to help more? He’s not working, probably is working under the table but I wouldn’t know where, probably sold all the furniture and babies stuff when we left him.. but how is any of this fair? He should have some financial support? Daycare? Food? Idk something, it’s hard enough having to pay rent, food, power, gas and daycare all by myself and having nothing.. I don’t even think I’ll be able to buy them presents for Xmas with all these bills.. what can I do? I don’t want to seem selfish but he should be responsible for everything too.. why does it amhave to be put all on me?