Am I wrong for how I feel?

So ive been with my bf for about 4 years now. My first birthday we were still pretty new but for his birthday I had got him something. My 2nd birthday we went to Atlantic City, in which he was mad about because I didn’t suck his dick on the trip and his car got towed & he was upset that I didn’t bring enough money. For his, I rented a hotel because this was during COVID, ordered takeout, decorated the room and got him presents and everything. My last birthday, I paid for us to go to Miami in which we ended up arguing BAD. His birthday, we did what he wanted to do which was just go to the gun range.

For a couple of months, I been saying that this upcoming year, I want to go out of the country especially because this is my grad/bday gift to myself. I ask him today what we are doing & he goes “ either find a scammer to take you away or decide whether you want to go to the Poconos”. I feel like when it comes to my birthday he just doesn’t care to do what I want. Am I wrong for feeling like that? Im also not saying he would pay for the whole trip. I would put my half and everything. I get depressed around this time just wishing he would go above and beyond like I do for his.