My fiancé basically told me that it was ok for our 13 year old son to disrespect and talk back to me because he doesn’t live with us and only comes on the weekends and extended periods of times during the holiday’s!!

Edit: our children are from previous marriages. The girl is mine and the boy is his.

He didn’t say this exactly, but when I said “You’re always on my ass about when Charlotte does something and you’re constantly on her ass about it, but chad can talk disrespectful to me and yell at me and you hardly ever correct him, and he said “well, he’s not here all the time, and he’s older”. I was livid…I was so upset, I couldn’t even say anything..

My fiancé is always on my ass about our 10 year old being a smart ass, or not listening every time she is told to do something. Kids are going to be kids and things will not ever be perfect all the time, and he just doesn’t seem to realize that. She has to be perfect, or there are consequences. Our relationship has been a good one, but this is something I can’t get over and it’s a BIG DEAL. He wants to take away electronics every SINGLE time our Daughter acts up a bit, but when our Son treats me like shit, it doesn’t matter..he can play on his phone and be up all night long on his xbox when he’s here. If “Charlotte” is on her switch or iPad he makes comments about it being a babysitter or he’ll say she needs to go outside and play..he doesn’t do this with chad and he is here quite frequently, and I’m about ready to pull my hair out. When our children fight, Charlotte is more vocal and loud but chad will instigate and lash out more quietly towards her, which makes it seem like she’s the one starting everything since we can only hear her. I don’t know what to do, and it’s seriously making me think this just isn’t a good idea anymore.