MIL overbearing around holidays

To start with, we live 10 mins away from them. We used to see them literally 2x/week evvvvveryyyyy week. For years. And I got fed up and put my foot down and told my husband we needed to switch to 2x/month instead. So now she always makes comments to the kids “oh I misssssssedddd you oh I haven’t seen you in SO long!”

I’m like it’s almost as if that’s the point…

But anyway. She is the type that she HAS to have things the same every year and cannot fathom switching things up in the slightest. 12pm dinner every year and DONT BE LATE BECAUSE MY PARENTS WERE NEVER LATE AND IM NEVER LATE SO YOU CAN NEVER BE LATE EITHER. She can’t comprehend change and everything needs to be systematic and change/spontaneity is the end of the world.

She always talks to me and my husband as if we are a trio, me him and her. It’s always “we” for everything. I’m like girl back it on up and go be a “we” with your own husband, not your son and his wife. She will literally group chat us when extended family is in town and say “we need to go and show our love to them.” When my youngest was a baby she was having trouble sleeping more than usual and she said “what should we do?” 😂 I was like well you can stay home and do whatever tf you want, I’ll handle my baby… One time my sister in law and brother in law were having the family over their house and she texted me and my husband and said “you are welcome to come at 12.” …..what? Yeah I got the invite from the people hosting….. why are you inviting us to a house that isn’t yours that we were all invited to already by the hosts themselves…

Anyway. She 100% cannot fathom having “SUPPER” as she calls it any later than 12pm on holidays. So on Christmas she “needs” us there at 9am for breakfast, presents, and supper and “second supper” at 5pm. Literally instructed us to be there from 9am-5pm. I’m like no???? Is this crazy? My family (me, husband, 3 kids) have a Christmas morning breakfast tradition. I’m refusing to switch our traditions around to accommodate this woman who literally has nothing but free time. Husband and I are the ones with young kids, a busy schedule, and traditions we like to do with our young children. Why is it so bad that I want time with our family of 5 on Christmas before going over and hanging with the rest of the family??? I’m so tired of being pushed around by her and following her orders and demands just to keep the peace.

On top of it, every single get together is right in the middle of my youngest’s nap time. And we tell her this every time and she just wants our youngest to skip the nap. I’m like why??! So you can have “supper” at 12pm??? How about we let my kid nap, then have dinner at 5 like normal people…

Side note if you’re having breakfast, lunch, and dinner… why not just call it that? Why must it be breakfast, supper, and a 3rd unnamed meal? So weird.