This is what my depression looks like.

I can smile and keep up on (most of) my duties as a homeschooling mom and wife. Emotionally... I feel lonely, neglected, ugly, moody, unwanted, ignored and uninspired.

I like to read and journal when I feel this way, but having a hard time making that happen recently. Writing this, right now is currently my way of expressing.

We're starting to gain daylight again, which helps. We have no money to spare so going places to get out or traveling to go see family or friends is not an option. I am, however working on making friends in my small community. I feel so sad and like all of my hard work in and out of the house is unnoticed or unappreciated. My body aches, my mind is foggy. I feel so alone.

Was talking to my husband the other day about how excited I was about this baby, compared to the stress and struggle of our previous pregnancies. His reply was, "Wanna know how much our ideal skid steer will cost?" He didn't hear a thing. My heart felt so broken and I dn't think I've ever felt so unheard. That has been constant this week and he's totally oblivious when I try to tell him.

Anywho. Off to go do a dump run. Thanks for listening.

ETA: I didn't come on here to bash my husband. He's a wonderful, hard working man who is doing his best to provide for our family. I felt unheard and we talked about what we were both struggling with and how to work on it.