I just keep getting depressed about my horrible relationship with my mom. It used to be good back a few years ago until she became totally toxic. Now I have a baby and she hasn’t even seen him because she refuses to wear a mask. My husband and I just got over covid and it was horrible, but we both wore masks constantly and our baby never got it thank god. But my mom tries to guilt trip me, telling me how it hurts to not see him. But she keeps saying she wants to FaceTime and wants lots of videos and pictures of him. It hurts because I question how much she actually loves him if she doesn’t even care to protect him. She wears masks when she goes to store and such but can’t around her infant grandchild. (Not trying to cause an anti mask debate because I’m over fighting with her about it) It sucks. I really wanted him to meet her. And it hurts so much especially when she just wants pictures and videos of him but can’t see him in real life even though we live 15 min away. And we will be moving out of the country within a year. she just messaged me saying she wants a new pic of him for her “screensaver” on her phone. Doesn’t ask how he’s doing, doesn’t see how shitty her actions are and toxic. She just wants an updated fucking screensaver pic for her phone. This type of toxic bullshit has been going on for over 4 years now since she became completely radicalized (not trying to make this a political post though) and shamed my brother and I out of nowhere and then threatened suicide while I was 9 weeks pregnant, blaming it on my brother and I. Then she apologized so I tried to move on but this bullshit just keeps continuing and I don’t see that she has any remorse for her actions and doesn’t see how toxic she is. I’m just hurting right now. I miss how things used to be, how close we were. And I’m sad she can’t get a grip on anything and stop being so toxic. It’s seriously making relationships with anyone (my friends, husband, etc) difficult for me because I constantly keep bringing my pain up and I can’t seem to just stop getting hurt. And it pisses me off thinking that she’s looking at my baby as if he were a doll on a shelf; she won’t actually have a relationship with him but oh, he’s nice to look at even though she refuses to respect our wishes (which I don’t feel we are asking a lot). Honestly both of my parents suck. Thanks for reading if you made it this far.