What are yalls opinion on this?

Question

I've been wanting something for a little while, it costs $15. That isn't a whole lot, but money has been tight. Today I decided to text my Aunt (who lives about 1000 miles away) and hint that I've been wanting it, but can't buy it, knowing already that she spoils me and that she would buy it for me if she knew I wanted it. So is it bad that I did this? I kinda feel like I manipulated her into it, but at the same time I don't know because I know she'll happily get me something (within reason) if I want it

Accepted Answer

My opinion is if money is so tight that $15 is a little too much to spend on something then you don’t need it. Time to be an adult and learn to budget better or if you already do then accept your financial situation and live within your means. An adult shouldn’t be “hinting” to family members to buy them unnecessary things just because they want them. If you needed groceries sure, a new hairbrush or some shit can wait.

Answer

Yes I think that’s rude and manipulative.

Answer

Yes thats taking advantage of someone kindness and manipulative. If she asked or it came up in passing thats one thing but u literally reached out to her with the purpose of using her financially. Thats wrong.

Answer

$15 isn’t that hard to save up, why have someone else buy it for you?

Answer

After reading a lot of negative and judgmental comments, I wanted to simply answer your question. Yes, it might be manipulative, but I don’t think it’s selfish or immature. It is so important that we know how to ask for help and who to get it from. When we are trying to meet needs, or even when we are just trying to meet a few of the wants, it is ok to ask for help. I would encourage you to be a bit more direct with your plea and negate the manipulation, but please know that self-care is so important for moms who give all of themselves to everyone else, all of the time. It’s ok for you to treat yourself to a little something extra here and there while you stick to a tough budget or a paycheck to paycheck lifestyle for the sake of your family. I have an aunt like this too, and usually these things come up naturally in conversation when I am just venting or explaining life. She has offered help, which I have declined, she’s offered help that I have accepted, and I have asked for help that she has readily agreed to give.

Answer

I don't think it's rude at all. You aren't just saying buy me this, I want it. Manipulative a tiny bit. But if she is very generous and buys you things anyway. No harm no fowl. As long as you don't throw a fit if she doesn't get it. I'd say your fine. But that's just me

Answer

Not cool. If it was really that necessary you needed it you should just come out and ask because most family will understand if you're going through a tough time. Sounds like it's a want more than a need so no I don't think it's cool you did that just because you know someone spoils you and loves you. Sorry just being honest 🤷‍♀️

Answer

I do not see anything wrong with this. I would do anything I possibly can for my niece’s. all she has to do is ask my but she does not! So I like to surprise her! I do not care when she is 30 years old and asks! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ if I have the money I will still do things like that for her.

Answer

I used to do this and it felt like manipulation also. I have learned to just ask, as the worst they can say is no. It also puts me in a position as an adult to be okay with requesting help, etc.

Answer

I would say since you intentionally brought it up to her knowing she would buy it for you, not just because it came up innocently in casual conversation, yes, it was manipulative. If it came up just casually then it wouldn’t be an issue, but you went to her specifically knowing she’d buy it for you.
For example - when my youngest was born, I was texting with my dad about baby monitors. He works in network security and engineering, so I knew he’d give me soldi information about safety from hackers, etc. I sent him my top 3 choices and how I felt about them and asked his opinion. I told him one of them I liked more than the other two, but it was $60 more than the other two and while I liked it, I didn’t know if I could justify the extra cost. We could afford it, I just didn’t know if it was that much better than the other two. He gave me some very generic thoughts on them so I was still undecided. 3 days later, a box arrived with my top choice and an “e-card” from my dad saying “I liked this one the best too. Now you don’t have to justify the extra cost because I covered it 😁”. I didn’t ask him about them thinking he’d buy my favorite. In fact, I wouldn’t have let him buy it if I had known ahead of time, he was just sneaky 😂
At any rate, next time I think it’s best to just ask her outright. Chances are she’s never going to know you manipulated the situation, but you will always know and I’d personally feel better knowing I wasn’t sneaky with someone I care about.

What are yalls opinion on this?

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