Regretful sex

So I’ve been feeling really down lately, all my friends have boyfriends and spend all their time with them which led me to feel really lonely. I realised that I wanted to feel love again and have someone like that in my life, so I joined tinder.

Fast forward a few months, after many failed conversations, I started talking to this boy. He seemed really nice, was from my area but living away for uni, we had all the same interests and I genuinely thought this could lead somewhere. He invited me down to his uni so I decided to go and drove over 2 hours to meet him, the furthest I’ve ever drove.

When we met I realised that I didn’t really find him attractive like I thought I did but nevertheless we had a nice date and then we back to his flat. We just chilled, ordered some food (which he made me go halves on even though I had just paid like £100 in petrol to go meet him) and then he started kissing me.

He then starts grinding on me and moving his hands down my pants and I didn’t mind that, but then one thing leads to another and he takes my pants off and we have sex. I knew I didn’t want to before it even happened and the second it started I felt instant regret but froze in the moment. I felt like I couldn’t say anything or do anything and was stuck in an awkward situation. He put me in different positions and then he came in me. Afterwards he literally just fell asleep and then I went home. I felt so shit the whole journey back, I felt disgusted and disappointed in myself. I’m not that type of person, I never have sex with someone I’ve just met, let alone someone I don’t even like. I felt awful.

The next day I woke up feeling just as shit, if not worse. I cried pretty much the whole day. I just felt like the whole thing was just a big mistake and I regretted it so much.

I tried to just forget about it as much as I could, until a few days ago. I started noticing that it was really hurting when I went for a wee, but I just thought it was a uti as I get them a lot. I went the doctors and they gave me antibiotics for it but they made no difference and the pain has just gotten worse. I then started noticing that my discharge was a pale yellow colour and had blood in it and that I had mild pelvic pain. Immediately I knew that this wasn’t just another uti and Googled my symptoms.

I’m now pretty sure I have chlamydia, I’m going the doctors tomorrow but I’m petrified. I have cried the entire day, feeling so disgusting and just genuinely depressed. I’m only 19, how could I be so stupid. I feel like im never going to forget this, I just wish I hadn’t gone to meet this boy!!

Not only do I regret the sex with this boy but now it looks like he has given me chlamydia. Honestly my life just keeps getting worse, it’s one thing after the other!!

If my test results come back positive Idk how I’m going to deal with it. Do I have to talk to this boy again and tell him he gave me fucking chlamydia?? Thinsg didn’t end on good terms as it is, so I know he will try to blame it on me, saying I gave it to him, even though I have been tested after every person I’ve slept with and never been positive for anything.

Sorry this post is so long, I just really needed to get it off my chest. Please if anyone could spear their time to just give me some advice and maybe make me feel better, I just feel so alone right now and extremely depressed.

Thanks