Anyone else have a SHIT Valentines Day?🙃

Question

I’m currently 37w pregnant, with a 1 year old, and moving in 2 weeks. So I’m VERY stressed out/exhausted and I’ve told my SO that I’m struggling. I decided I would do my valentines surprise yesterday since he has to work night shift on the actual day.  I cooked this big steak dinner for him and gave him his gift, nothing big just a new work cooler and a “dirty” coffee mug (he LOVES coffee lmao) well today rolls around and I got nothing. Not even a “Happy Valentines Day”. I would’ve loved a card with a nice message or even just a morning coffee. He took our toddler out this morning and bought himself a coffee and her breakfast, but nothing for me because “I was asleep when they left” I’m not about physical gifts but I do like to be showed that they care, I don’t even like flowers but damn would some flowers be nice once and a while. All holidays are shit on his part, even though he expects the world in return on holidays. 
I do so much for this family and I know he does too, he provides for us but I feel like because I’m the one at home doing all the behind the scenes stuff, he feels like I don’t deserve to be spoiled every now and again.

Answer

I have had a pretty terrible day as well…me and my SO aren’t technically together right now and I’m 32 weeks pregnant and we are living separately and I ask yesterday if I was gonna get to see him today and he told me it depends on what time he gets off cause he works in the oilfield and he text me and told me his truck blew up… and I had a dr appointment today and didn’t receive terrible news just news that I will be having my baby early so I’m nervous and just a total wreck today!

Answer

I think in the future perhaps you should set clearer expectations for him- let him know it means a lot to you when he gives you SOMETHING. It's not much effort you are asking for. 
And yes I'm having a shit Valentine’s day- again- I'm polyam & was seeing two people- neither one of them so much as said "hello"- well one of them said hello at 8pm 😒
I'm just emotional and feel like I'll have a remotely normal relationship- normally it's okay-  but frankly it sucks to feel so unloved and alone and it really makes me think. Perhaps I need to raise my standards again. 
But the weird part is- I normally don't care about holidays- so this probably is my fault more than anyone's. 
I hope it gets better & you feel more appreciated soon.

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I’m sorry 💔 he could have at least brought you breakfast. He was already out

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I had to get a progesterone injection as well as do a three hour glucose tolerance test because I failed my hour. So i got stuck with five needles yesterday.

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Mine wasn’t the best either. Everything leading up to it was okay and then once we hit the restaurant it’s basically when things sort of went to hell in a hand basket. 
He, in his 36 years of life, had never celebrated Valentine’s Day with someone. What little past relationships he has had didn’t care to do holidays or anything romantic/intimate. Basically no real good relationships. 
So, he was surprised how restaurants get booked up. Surprised about florists being so busy. Basically a beginner to Valentine’s that most people get knowledge about decades prior. But when we got to the restaurant he was nervous - not sure why since we have moved well past the nerves with us - and somehow he started talking about people being friends with exes and then his last ex (from 4-5 years ago) while we were sitting there waiting on appetizers. They dated for a year and then when he was like “this isn’t working” (because it honestly wasn’t) she then went and dated one of his closest friends (they aren’t friends anymore) and recently got engaged within the last year or so. Dude is a total downgrade and there’s strong evidence of overlapping at the end too, but whatever.
Conversation was basically how it’s weird when exes still try and be friends with his friends and how that one ex went and kept trying to worm her way into the friend group when they were dating and remained around even afterwards just randomly showing up to things even though she wasn’t invited, and then when she was with the guy she’s with now how they tried to get involved through video games with people and whatever. It’s like…we are supposed to be at a romantic dinner for the two of us. Why am I hearing about her? There’s a time and a place for everything, and that ain’t it. 
Then at one point I glanced over at a table and saw a man who resembled my ex husband (we divorced several years ago), but it caused a spike in my anxiety and almost a panic attack. I was worried and anxious going into this Valentine’s Day because back in 2014 when celebrating Valentine’s Day with someone new (post separation and everything) I had a panic attack. So, I was worried that something similar would happen and then to see someone who resembled him made me super worried I would have a repeat. Thankfully I was able to calm myself down, but it really rattled my cage. 
So, restaurant messed up both of our entrees. His steak was massively over cooked and dry and my chicken was also massively over cooked. So the food also was ruined, which was “fun”. Honestly should’ve just had a relaxing night at home like I had also suggested. 
When we got back to my place (we don’t live together yet) the plan was for him to stay the night and we had discussed it well in advance. In his infinite wisdom he thought I didn’t want him to stay the night (never said that), and then because he knew I was upset with him didn’t think that he should stay, and so I’m just like WTF. He ended up staying and we talked more and everything but ugh….everything BEFORE was nice and perfect. The gifts, our time together, etc. But that damn dinner!!!!!

Answer

Sorry to hear that, it really sucks to feel unappreciated. 
I had a horrible day, but grateful to be alive. I started hemorrhaging a few days into my miscarriage and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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Maybe you should talk to him about it. Men are pretty clueless about everything unfortunately. My husband did the same thing on Christmas to me. Not even a merry Christmas or a card or anything. He did get me something for Valentine’s Day though. I’d just talk to him and ask him why he doesn’t like to celebrate the holidays

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my husband gave me nothing either. and i seen old folks out gettin there wifes something that what eats me up inside i cryed yesterday because if they can giv therr wifes something why cant he giv me some... now days men dont know how to appricate a woman

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Pretty much in terms of with my boyfriend. 
I did spent some time with my sister, mom & grandmother. That was the only good part about my day

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That’s a jerk move. How could he not get you a simple coffee. Tell him what you want in this relationship. It’s not hard to do little nice gestures for your SO or at least consider them.

Anyone else have a SHIT Valentines Day?🙃

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