Am I a bad person?

I have been trying so hard to be excited about being pregnant again but I'm just tired and depressed. I feel like my body doesn't belong to me anymore and when I finally get it back I'm going to be taking care of a toddler and a newborn and I feel like I can't talk about my feelings with anyone because they'll think I'm a terrible mother. My husband is so excited and he keeps expecting me to be happy and excited but I just can't. Our son has just gotten old enough that we feel safe leaving him with any and going out to have some grown up time and my husband is still going out drinking with his friends and it just reminds me that I don't have friends and am never going to have time to make friends or go out with them.