I ’ve been depressed and suicidal for years

I have cancer at 22 right now and I honestly thought it would help my mind set about pain and death however I think it has made it worse. I feel guilty because I see my friends and family doing so much to fight for my life. I however have been carrying so much physical, emotional pain/trauma for years I don’t want to continue life. I’ve struggled with depression and chronic illness for 10 years now and I just don’t seeing it get better. I just don’t know what else to do and yes I’ve tried therapies, western and eastern medicine, diets, religion, spirituality, everything I can think of honestly.