My mom really gets under my skin

My mom asked me randomly like your moving back after graduation right and I got a little defensive because I’ve only told her like 100 times no that I’m going to Georgia hopefully right after and she starts acting really distant and it bugs me so I say under my breath this is why no one ever wants to tell you anything cause you always react badly and now I’m just sad I’m the worst I shouldn’t have said anything at all I hate myself this is the kinda stuff that makes me wish I wasn’t alive cause even if it’s all small thing it sucks cause me trying to do soemthing with my life makes her mad and idk what to do cause I don’t wanna be a bad person but I think that’s what I need to do for my career but idk cause I only have so much time with my parents and idk she just has great timing with her questions when I’m tired and everything’s terrible

And it just bugs me cause I know it makes her sad that I won’t be back at home and stuff but she could at least be a little happy that I have plans and aspirations and shit you know like I’d like for someone to be proud of me every once in a while and not only proud that I have a good boyfriend like actually proud of me and my accomplishments and my aspirations but now I’m anxious and it sucks cause she’s mad at me and I’m sad of course this has to happen the day before I leave I fucking hate my self