I don’t like my sons same. What should I do?

Question

So my husband and I are separated because he’s narcissistic and emotionally abusive. But I’m almost 18 weeks pregnant with a little boy. When we found out we were pregnant he asked if his family could name him if he was a boy, and I hesitantly agreed. 
Now that they’ve picked the name, I really don’t like it and I know I’m not going to even call him that if I did name him what they want. 
They want Taniela (Daniel in Tongan).  I am thinking about switching and making it his middle name. Is that wrong? What would you do?

Accepted Answer

If they’re gonna be pregnant for 38 (or more) weeks & have to push a baby out, then yeah they should name him how they want. But they’re not, so name YOUR baby however you want

Answer

Girl. Name your baby. That’s a privilege we earn as mothers. He’s going to have it for the rest of his life.

Answer

I would let them know you have changed your mind and plan to use the name they chose as his middle name but his first name will be (whatever you decide). Letting them know before doing it will at least let them know without being blind sided of your change.

Answer

It’s your baby called him what you want. Also I don’t mean to be disrespectful to any other language but since this baby is going to be born in an English-speaking country, you always want to think about how things will be interpreted. Taniela sounds like a very feminine name similar to Daniela

Answer

No, switch it. It’s worth the blowback to have your son’s name be what you choose and like for the rest of his life vs him stuck with that name. I do also agree in my opinion it sounds more feminine. I would use as middle name if you want to use it at all. Just go for it. Also, you can let them know now or you can let them know after you’ve birthed and signed the birth certificate as well? That way they can’t attack or try to threaten you to change it- it’s already done. Will the father be in the delivery room? (I am hoping not because of his behavior to you- you need positive support during labor/delivery) and will he sign the birth certificate? That would change which route I’d go.

Answer

The second I left my sons dad I changed what his middle name would be. I don’t want him attached to a horrifically abusive narcissist every time he has to see his name! (I have sole custody he has no visitation)

Answer

Girl, it’s your fucking baby! You’re about to push him out, I’d be DAMNED if I’m going to be making my child a name I don’t like/approve for the rest of my life. You’ll be saying that name more than anyone else in this world, remember that. I wouldn’t even give it to him as a middle name.

Answer

It’s your baby, you pick the name!
Using it as a middle name may be a good compromise but don’t do it if you don’t want to. You pick

Answer

Hon, it’s YOUR baby. You don’t need to let them name your son. If they want to get mad at you then let them, in the end you’re the mother, you’re the one that’s gonna birth him.

Answer

I'd probably stick with the name but have 'daniel'. Their way sounds too much like a girls name

I don’t like my sons same. What should I do?

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