Sexlife advise, 4months Postpartum

Mamas, I need a good advise.

My husband and I only had sex for 5 times within 9 months and that towards labor (this is by choice). Now I gave birth via C-Section, my confidence is not so good anymore. My belly is hanging, I have dark stretch marks. We have not had real sex and always foreplay after giving birth because I’m afraid to get pregnant too soon and I am so dry down there. I don’t do contraceptives. I am more leaning to try Condoms and Lubes. We never use these before. I am 4months PP and still try but with oral sex we feel good but not so satisfied. I initiate that I want oral sex for the past few days but he is so busy at work and I’m locked up with my child. Sometimes I feel like just buying a toy and play with myself but part of me saying that my connection to my husband is not as strong as before child anymore. What can I do different? Before we are so active having oral sex months ago I initiate an oral sex to him and he is not in the mood, it takes us forever to be done until baby wakes up OR when we do oral sex, I get so tired because its a lot of work too and baby needs to nurse and I felt so drained. I feel hopeless. I don’t know what to do. I miss being hug and being wanted. I ordered a lube and start from there. I already have a toy for clit but I think I may need one that imitates him. Opening this to my husband feels awkward nowadays. I felt like I’m begging him to have oral sex. 🥺

I don’t know. I have nightmares for the past fee nights I’m having sex with different men and husband is not one of them. 🥺