Was this sexual assault? Part 1/2

So around April in 2021 I was babysitting for a family. I was 19 at the time. The family consisted of the mother (My relative cousin) her husband, and their 7 month old baby. Whenever I would come over to babysit I would share some thing I’ve dealt with in my life, I had no one to talk to so since she was my cousin I felt comfortable talking to her and venting to her about what I was going through. Her husband’s and I relationship was strictly professional. In my phone his name was “July’s Husband”. A couple month’s of babysitting I felt a weird feeling that he was attracted to me. But I brushed it off because I didn’t want to overreact. I was sexually assaulted before and when detectives interviewed me their questions were “Do you watch porn” “What were you wearing” so though I was traumatized, I try not to think all men are the enemy. So whenever him and I would have weird encounters I would think nothing of it. I told myself “He’s my cousins husband he wouldn’t dare”.

When I would come over to babysit I would literally cover my whole body up. Out of respect for my cousin. And on that day, I wore sweatpants and a hoodie.

Let’s fast forward to the day everything went down. It started out as a great day, I woke up, went to their house, babysat their daughter for 10+ hours, then got ready to go home. I was understandably tired. Her husband took me home after every babysitting shift. That night he was unable to take me because his wife (My cousin) had the baby seat with her. He texted me that I would have to either wait until she comes with the car seat or he could order an Uber for me. There was no Wi-Fi at my house so I asked him if I could stay until 10pm to watch a few more episodes on Netflix. He texted me back and told me to stay later (Until 3am), I was like cool, I feel comfortable, it’s like I’m hanging out with family which I haven’t done in a really long time. I get comfortable, continue watching the show I was watching, and relax. That was red flag number one.

He then started texting me continuously and we texted back and fourth, at first I was giving vague responses because I’m only used to texting him about baby sitting appointments. But the more we talked the more I felt comfortable opening up. I was a very free talker, I talk to my cousins, my sister, my aunts, about things such as sex, periods, etc. I’m very open with them when it comes to those conversations. Anyways, he goes into his room and starts to text me after taking his daughter inside.

He asks me questions like:

“How old are you”

“Do you have a boyfriend”

Etc…

Then he tells me that he can’t sleep. Now I ask myself why was he telling me that he couldn’t sleep, why didn’t he tell my cousin that he couldn’t sleep. I give him advice that I probably shouldn’t have because I got too comfortable. I tell him that there are multiple ways to quickly fall asleep, I give this advice freely, sorta an over sharer. I tell him that he can either masturbate or drink really warm milk. He tells me that he doesn’t do that stuff, I said cool, you should probably drink warm milk then.

He then asks me when was the last time I masturbated, do my boyfriend and I have sex, etc. I answer these questions truthfully. He then continues to complain that he can’t sleep, I try to give him more sleeping solutions like watching a movie, coming outside to watch the show I was watching. Things went downhill from there. He asks me if I wanted to take a shower and change clothes. I say yes to the shower and yes to a shirt. He then asks if I wanted to borrow his boxers to sleep in. I tell him no because that would be weird, there wouldn’t be enough comfort in the world for me to wear a married man’s boxer’s. What I noticed was that while I was in the shower, he was just standing outside the door.

He goes back inside the room and I continue to watch my show. He then texts me again “I can’t sleep” at this point I don’t know what to tell him because wtf am I supposed to do about you not being able to sleep. There were a lot of messaging back and forth but my trauma has caused me to block many things from that night. An hour later he text’s “Can I trust you?”, ever since I was a child I’ve been sexualized, at the moment I didn’t think nothing of it, so I said ‘Sure”, he then says “Can you come give me a BJ” I reply “Lol you’re funny” I was honestly in denial because there’s no way he’s serious, at this point I’m getting uncomfortable. I log into my instagram and start writing in my stories about what’s currently happening. He continues to tell me that he’s horny and that he can’t sleep. I tell him that he can come outside to watch Netflix. He eventually comes outside and sits on the opposite side of the couch. A few minutes later he tells me to sit next to him, I continuously tell him I’m good where I’m at. He asks again, and again, and again. So he could leave me alone I give him my phone to watch porn. He wasn’t satisfied, he tells me that he wants me to watch it with him. After him asking for 10 minutes I go over to him and sit on the floor to watch. He got tired of watching and gave me my phone back. I go back to my seat and continue watching the show I was previously watching.

To be continued……………