Am I wrong?

Question

Me & my bf just now getting into our apartment after 3 months of being homeless. His friends have a wedding next month & its $1600+ for the flight and I told him that wedding is the last thing on my mind & he’s upset! We have to get settled into our apartment & we have to pay for a lawyer for our upcoming court case. Those are the MOST important things to me not a last minute shot gun wedding. We literally just found out about this wedding 2 weeks ago & I told him then WE ARE NOT ABLE TO PAY FOR THE TRIP THERE. He’s offered to take out a loan so we can go! I got pissed off because he doesn’t make that much of an effort when I ask him to take a trip with me. it’s always “we don’t have the money for it” but for his friends he wants to make sure he can do it! Im pissed because hes constantly asking about this wedding and I quite frankly don’t care for it I’m not about to be dead ass broke just to go to someone’s last minute wedding. He’s saying I’m being selfish and making it about me. How?
Edit: no his name isn’t on the lease & he knows I will never let him take out a loan in my name. We were homeless because most of the apartments didn’t have immediate move in & it took 2 months to get approved here. We had to move out of our last place due to it flooding and it was pretty much damaged.

Accepted Answer

You probably better off alone. You were homeless… yet you have a man who would take out a loan for flights to a wedding. Let that sink in.

Answer

Whose name is on the lease. His financial irresponsibility will have him homeless again. Unless you want to join him, start protecting yourself. Get the (or a) apartment in your name. And be prepared to kick him out when the time comes. Because it will. Do not go joint on anything with him. If you have already, see if you can get your contract amended.

Answer

You better not give in and go! He is being irresponsible Fuck that!

Answer

I cannot stress enough how important it is to pick a partner who makes smart financial decisions. You are right here. Send them a card with an amount of money you are comfortable with ($50 or $100). Or wait and give it to them when you can afford it even if it’s months from now. If they are truly friends they will just be happy for your support and understand your situation. Taking out a loan would be very irresponsible. I don’t know that I could stay with someone who would make such wild financial decisions for short term satisfaction. Hopefully, when you talk to him he sees sense. Otherwise, it sounds like you are in this mess ALONE. That would piss me off. I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time. I hope good things are coming your way from now on 💛

Answer

Stand your ground. If he wants to go, he can go on his own dime. He’s an adult but let him know that his decisions affect you too.

Answer

The idea of taking out a loan, which will be at a high interest rate, to go to a last minute wedding of a friend is about one of the most financially irresponsible things ever. You are totally in the right her and him framing you as selfish for not spending over a grand on a wedding is absurd. I wouldn't go and if he wants to that's on him. I'd think about if this is someone you can see yourself trying to build a life with though and look really hard into the relationship. You're trying to he a responsible adult, he is being selfish by trying to manipulate you into going. Too much money and no you are not wrong for not wanting to go.

Answer

Just let him go and him pay for all the costs he has to just don’t help him in anyway and you can focus on you and what’s important for you

Answer

Taking out a loan for a trip sounds like a terrible idea. Especially these days. I don’t think you’re wrong.

Answer

Personally I agree, to each their own but I believe your financial stability is #1 and I would put myself in a place to go backwards.

Answer

If I was so recently homeless and broke I wouldn’t take out a loan for MY OWN wedding, let alone someone else’s. I understand being disappointed in not being able to attend, but he shouldn’t be making irresponsible decisions or blaming you for being the voice of reason. If he decides to live a life that he financially compromises with bad choices he may not be compatible for you.

Am I wrong?

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