Haunted by abuser

TW

Long story short several people had sexually abused me when I was a child. I got zero justice out of it. I reported to police around age 17 and it took them a year to make a phone call. That call set a lot of things in motion. Abuser shot himself, twice, ended up in hospice and passed shortly after. The others were already dead. The one who shot himself had the most impact on me though and I still think of it often. He’s been dead for years now. I had no closure or way of coping. It became one of those things to just move on from, but we kind of all know how that goes in these situations. Now I’m six months pregnant and I’ve struggled the entire time w hyperemesis. Im just now able to sleep a bit at night. Except most nights I try to sleep, I’ll dream of my abuser. He’s dead already but I dream of being in his old house. He haunts me as a ghost or as he once did living in the dreams. I always end up running, attacking, or killing him in some way. Last night it happened again. I knew he was dead in the dream and just repeating that as I bashed his head in. Obviously I have some issues with coping about this. Wonder if anyone else experiences this or if anyone has advice on how to get through it. I’d like to be able to sleep and move on from this whatever way possible. Even just venting about that experience helps but it doesn’t last, I’ll be reliving it in my dreams soon enough..