Cheating and girls who allow it

4 years ago now when I was 20, I started dating a guy name Derek, 19, who soon joined the army meaning we were in a long distance relationship. Things seemed pretty genuine - he came back home after his basic training and the morning he had to go back a month later he was so down and out. I told him to remember just because I wasn’t physically with him I’d always be there, which was when he broke down in tears. At one point we started the process to go de-facto.

However, early into the relationship I had concerns regarding one particular girl on his Snapchat named Ashley, 18. On one occasion I asked him to open one in front of me and she was sending him a photo showing off her ✨fresh tan✨, which I felt was crossing lines for someone who was in a public relationship. He obviously fed me some lies but fast forward a year, he secretly flew back home, slept with a girl (different girl) and came to see me two days later. I only found out he cheated after the fact when his parents and I dropped him off at the airport & her friend who works there saw us together. She sent me a message that I didn’t see till I got home - it made so much sense because none of that weekend added up until she messaged me. The short of it was because his mum texted me the day before asking if we were okay because he seemed really down (this was before I knew he was home, and I had actually went on a day trip that day and I guess it was probably the day he wanted to come see me), he became extremely loving over message after being terrible to me for a month leading up to that day, lastly he looked particularly sad at the airport.

Of course we broke up but things dragged on much longer than they should have.

Fast forward to today, a post was made from a girl in a different state, in this large all girls group on Facebook. It was a photo of my ex and she was asking if anyone knew him. There were comments from SOOO many girls all consisting of the following

cheating

verbal abuse

sexual assault

short temper

aggression

physical abuse

manipulative

emotional abuse

giving them STIs

compulsive lying.. dude even told one girl in an argument that he was only with her because she reminded him of me.. who died next to him from a drug overdose - you heard that right 😭 I’ve never touched a single drug

Now none of this is at all surprising to me, but what I’m furious over is that the girl I initially had worries about is in the comments acting like another victim. She confirmed with another girl that they had an on again off again fling since she was 13, and he’d message her midst every relationship he had and tell her he wanted her to move up with him and all of this rubbish. It frustrates me because she knew of all of these relationships but even I have never heard a peep from her. I ran into her close friends one night who were so excited to tell me her side of the story, and so I’m sure they told her what I said & even still she continued to sleep with him all the way up until 3 months ago… it’s so frustrating to see her act like she suffered more than the girls who were in public relationships with him, or girls who experienced literal assault both physical and sexual, when she actually played apart in our pain. She has had so many opportunities to save a girl from heartache but didn’t.

I am honestly still healing from this and need to feel better about the situation if anyone wants to comment 😅