Guilt

At 17 and 18wks I was having severe pelvic pain, to the point I couldn't complete basic tasks. My ob placed me on light duty/ bed rest for 2 weeks and prescribed muscle relaxers. After 2 weeks we would evaluate my abilities and discuss if I could return to work/normal tasks.

I am a preschool teacher of a very small two staff school. We only had 4wks of school left. When I notified our board we all agreed it to be best to cancel classes for the remainder of the year as we have no subs and no guarantee I could come back after the 2 weeks.

I am now 19weeks its been a week and half since my provider placed me on light duty. I am feeling so much better. Rarely any pain but I am stuck not doing much to avoid the pain ie. Avoiding long walks/ being on my feet too long/vaccuming etc. I feel so guilty that our school is closed and I'm now "pain-free". I feel bad that I'm not pushing through for the remainder of the year. This has also put my family in a precarious financial situation.

I am trying to tell myself there was no way to know how this situation would unfold so decisions were made based off the knowledge at hand. I know I shouldn't feel guilty for taking care of myself but now that I am no longer in constant pain I feel like I've let everyone down and I caused a mess.