Would you say anything?

Question

Would you say anything to a friend of a friend about car seat safety?
I'm not the type of person to say something but I don't know if I should or how to approach it.
A friend of a friend posts online all the time photos of her small 13 month old forward facing and not buckled in properly (it is while driving, obviously not parked). The straps are lose & the chest clip is by his belly. We have the same seat and kids need to be 2 before turning it based on manual. 
I don't want to come off as a momshamer but I came genuinely concerned. Should I say something or mind my business?

Answer

I’d rather say something to someone about car seat safety and save the kid than hold my tongue and see something bad happen because I didn’t speak up.

Answer

I have never had an issue letting someone know in a kind way- “hey- I know we have the same seat and I just discovered X,y,z in terms of safety. Here is some info that helped me keep our little one safer” If they don’t want to be friends anymore, fuck them 🤷🏼‍♀️

Answer

You aren’t mom-shaming if it could potentially save a child’s life. She is putting her child at risk and needs to be informed that what she is doing is dangerous.

Answer

Say something, firm but tactful.

Answer

I have corrected people on car seat safety before. 
The first was my sister who forward faced my nephew at 16 months old. I explained why he should be rear facing, showed her the science and crash test videos. She chose to keep him forward facing because “his legs were squished” and that was her priority. Never mind that my daughter who is 6 months younger has always been taller than him and still rear faces at age 4. 🙄
The second was a friend of mine who came over for a visit with her 18 month old. She still had him rear facing in a convertible seat, but had never adjusted the seat back up with his growth and he sat with his head was WAY above the headrest. I commented something along the lines of, “I’m sorry, I’m a car seat safety fanatic. You know the back of the seat adjusts, right? This needs to move up as he grows to keep him safe.” And she had NO idea, completely clueless. So I showed her how to adjust it and explained where to keep the straps for his safety. She appreciated the help. 
So anyway. I would say something. But that’s me. Whether or not they take your advice is their problem.

Answer

Yes, tell her. If she doesn’t care and continues to improperly secure her child in a moving vehicle call CPS. That baby will die if she gets in an accident.

Answer

My friend’s sister posted a car seat picture and her child wasn’t buckled correctly. I reached out to my friend to tell her sister.

Answer

My sister In law has adjusted my sons car seat for me several times and I am nothing but thankful. If something happened to my son because his car seat wasn’t properly fitted I would have been devastated. I really wouldn’t categorize that as mom shaming. Ignoring car seat safety regulations is just plain unsafe.

Answer

I'll be the odd man out and say no. I tried to correct a friend once when our children were infants. She didn't have the straps tight enough or at the correct level. I explained why it was unsafe and provided proper links. I never said it in any type of way other than caring and concerned. She straight up told me she didn't care. And has gone on since to practice unsafe cat seat practices such as forward facing at 18 months. I also tried to help another friend but it was short-lived and she didn't practice safety either. I will share info on car seat safety but I will no longer go out of my way to educate people unless they ask. In this day and age there is no excuse other than laziness and ignorance. The car seat manuals say it. So they would come across the info while re-installing seats. And everyone has a smart phone and access to Google. Most hospitals discuss car seat safety as you prepare to leave with your newborn and while I can't speak for all pediatricians I know my daughter's doctora office always talks about car seat safety at each appointment. While I wouldn't want to see anything bad happen to any child parents are going to continue to do what they want regardless. And many dislike unsolicited advice regardless if their children are in danger.

Answer

You aren’t doing anything wrong if you message her privately about it. When my daughter was first born I literally didn’t know I was not using her car seat incorrectly (wasn’t tightening her straps properly, etc). My newborn photographer spoke up immediately when she saw how my daughter was buckled into her seat when we brought her in the studio. No one said anything to us prior to this. Not our parents, not nurses/doctors… And being first time parents we thought it was perfectly fine. We were so thankful she showed us how to do it correctly! And luckily she was still only a week old so there had been very few outings at that point.

Would you say anything?

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