Is this considered consent?

Question

I’ve been talking to a guy for a while and we’ve had sex before. This last time we decided to jump in the shower before having sex. In the shower as we were switching sides (under the water vs in the cold) he bent me over and started going at it. I was not expecting it to happen so fast in the shower but knew we were going to have sex… would this be considered non consenting sex? I also was shocked cause we typically use protection..
After the shower we did end up having sex again and went for it again without protection. I guess I’m debating my feelings toward it because we’ve used protection in the past and had a pregnancy scared so we decided to use condoms again.. except the last time I gave him okay to remove half way thru. He told me he’d pull out but then ended up busting inside me.. he said he was planning on it low key and bought me a plan b. Idk it just feels off…

Answer

I feel like this is not consent. You agreed to something and then he went and did the opposite without your approval. Don't be afraid to speak up, unless he's dangerous than tread lightly and dump him ofc. But make it very clear what you want and don't want in a relationship and stand by it so there's no blurred lines.

Answer

Because it is off.

Answer

Yeah, things are not looking great in terms of him saying he'd pull out, then saying he never had planned on pulling out & bought you plan b... like at least he bought it, but that is incredibly disrespectful to your body. He didn't know if you could even take hormones like that - some people can't or have bad reactions- so I don't think it's okay for him to make decisions about your body without having your consent at all. 
The shower thing, I could see that as a grey area, where perhaps he thought that you would be fine with that... but based on his prior actions, perhaps he didn't care as much as he should if you would have agreed to unprotected sex.

Answer

Unless you guys have agreed that he’s allowed to penetrate you spontaneously before you’ve said you want to, then no he did not have your consent. You two decided that you would use condoms again, and although you gave him permission to take off the condom during one session, you didn’t ever change your original agreement. Then he came inside you when he said he’d pull out. He gave you plan B he had already purchased because he had this planned. I would not be okay with this. 
My husband and I have an agreement that we can touch each other without asking first, including when we’re asleep but before there is any sort of penetration we have to get a “yes” or “no” answer.

Is this considered consent?

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