I think I’m a toxic bm

I think I have major separation anxiety issues due to trauma and inconsistent relationships as a child. My bf went to Cali roots with a couple friends and their kids. I’m at home with our daughter. Well he left at 6:30 and said he’d be back by 8 it’s almost midnight and even though I know he should be home soon I just want to cry . What In the fuck is wrong with me. Why am I so attached I don’t think it’s healthy. He promised me we would leave to go go San Francisco early in the morning but I don’t see that happening considering how late it is😞 besides the point why can’t I just be normal and not give a fuck that he’s out. I didn’t really care up until an hour ago wondering like why isn’t he home yet. I always want him to have a good time but part of me doesn’t want him to go I know it’s selfish how can I stop feeling this way??? I don’t want to be toxic but it’s how I feel. Like I said major separation anxiety .i trust him with no doubt it’s not about that. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME