How much would you tolerate?

At what point to do throw in the towel? Say the D word? My husband and I have been together for 7 years but his only flaw is communication. He says the same old song and tells me what I want to hear but I see no change, effort, or willing to work on it. We have no problems in our marriage besides communication. We do so good together but whenever I bring something to his attention he immediately gets defensive and it becomes an argument and a whole fight that wasn’t needed to begin with. At the end he’ll say he’ll do better and work on it but never does. I have stopped believing this…. I love this man so sooo much. He is a good man but I can’t force him to change or put in effort if he isn’t willing to. You make time for what you want or for who you love, Yk? I am so confused. Yk when you’re in a battle with your heart and your head….. and when I say arguments we say very mean things to each other, call each other names, and sometimes throw a pillow or something at each other…. It gets to an extreme place when it wasn’t even needed or that deep to begin with…. and we don’t ever ever talk to each other that way so at the end I’m hurting so so much and he’s just like I’ll do better and we “move on”…… so toxic.