I stopped using this app when I became pregnant with my son January 2021!

I wanted to come back just to talk to someone. I don’t like to open up my problems to my family and friends because I carry a burden of expectation that I can handle the world without struggle. It’s toxic, I know. And I’ve considered a therapist very seriously the last few weeks.

The truth is, and it’s no secret, I can’t handle it all. Nobody can.

The problem I’m having recently is my marriage. I stay at home with our son and my husband works from home. So we have pretty easy lives. Because I do everything for the baby what feels like 80% maybe 90% of the time, on weekends my husband likes to take his time off to relax. I want to relax too. Sometimes when I ask him to do something he huffs and hesitates to give me an answer. It’s so annoying. That attitude he gives makes me just want to do it all myself. So, most of the time I do. It’s so sad to say that this morning I went to use the bathroom and when I came back he was playing with him and holding him. Then he was telling our baby “ok, daddy has to put you down now so I can finish the dishes” I instantly responded “was he crying?” That seems to be the only time he ever does anything for him. He told me no he wasn’t crying. He just wanted to hold him.

He does love me and our son he’s just sooooo lazy! He helps with house chores. But not regularly. He’s becoming more regular because I’m getting burned out and slacking.

I honestly try to give him the option to stay home and do nothing while I go out and have fun doing things and seeing people.

He thinks I’ll be mad at him if he doesn’t go so he reluctantly goes along.

I don’t even know if I’m making sense here. I Think I see things in him that I saw in my dad growing up that I didn’t like. I hate the feeling of regret that I have for marrying someone like my dad. I just feel like we are quite literally two different people. If you told me 6 years ago this is how I would be feeling, I would never have believed you. I feel like I’m in a deep mistake and I want to live all the great future moments together but it feels like he holds me back from a lot.

We recently moved closer to my family and since moving, all of those annoying things he does have been highlighted more because my family is very spontaneous and outgoing. Meanwhile he would rather stay home and watch tv.

If you’ve ever had feelings like this, how did you overcome it? Any advise for the problems I am feeling? 💔 thank you for reading if you came along this far!