uhm what?

Question

so before and during pregnancy, we agreed on no physical repercussions (no slapping, beating etc our kid)
well my partner has been crossing that boundary several times, BEFORE trying anything else, which is a big no no and definitely reason for concern on my part.
I have tapped our toddler on the diaper a few times after trying different techniques first and he was still being a pain (pulling down my trousers in public, holding my hand and jumping and dropping to the floor which hurts my back seriously)
today our kid drove into my partner's foot with his plastic bike (I know it hurts, our kid has done that before, it hurts...).
my partner angrily, hatefully said that he was going to beat him in the face with a shoe if he did that again. dude. our kid isn't even 2yo yet... if you fail to properly explain.. he will not understand.
my partner does not like any input of mine, all I say or do is wrong and all he says or does is right. This isn't the biggest issue in our relationship, and I was already seriously considering to leave.. but then he has unsupervised access to our kid. our kid that doesn't even construct full sentences yet. He can't even tell me if anything is wrong, he can't even call me if he's in trouble.
@💞
I am not a model parent or perfect in any way. However my partner doesn't respect me in any area. Like if I don't give him sex whenever he wants to he'll have bad attitude for days and be verbally abusive to me and the kids (1 of ours, 3 of him and his ex) If I tell him no he'll still try to force it on me, If I keep to my boundary he'll be mean to me. He spends our money like he's the only one working for it and my opinion never matters, While I'm currently the only one working. I still am the only one spending time with our kid. he never spends quality time with our kid, I'll be lucky if he'll put him to bed by himself or does 2 diapers a day. (I work from home so since I'm the mom I am expected to do baby stuff) He's aggressive to everyone and lately he's been yelling racist slur to the tv when he's disagreeing with any poc on tv. I seriously do not think any of that is ok and I do not think he deserves any slack.
Yes I do sometimes get overwhelmed and resort to patting his diaper, and I know I'd like to do different. But he's been defending this like kids not being beaten is what is ruining the world and kids needs beatings. So there's that difference. With all that I don't think it's just an outcry of not knowing what to do but an actual threat.

Answer

I would never stay with someone threatening to beat my child with an object. That’s not okay under any circumstances. I also don’t think it’s okay for either of you to hit a toddler… especially for your toddler simply behaving like a normal toddler.

Answer

Okay the people in the comments saying you think you’re better than everyone or that you lightly spanking and him threatening to beat a 2 year old in the face is equivalent need to stfu. I also agree spanking should be a last resort however it’s not illegal and isn’t abuse. Obviously I understand he didn’t actually act this time but even threatening that is far from okay. Toddlers are frustrating but what’s he’s saying is abuse. I know it’s hard but please try to get out of this situation! I wish you the best of luck❤️

Answer

I don’t even know why u would stay with someone who tries to force himself on u when u don’t want sex! 🤯

Answer

The difference with her parenting is she slaps the diaper whereas he wants to hit the child with something on the face. Wake up people! 
Secondly he rapes her, she clearly says no & he forces himself onto her. 
There are too many issues there. Why are you with him? 
I feel as if a parent who doesn’t step up to help raise a child has no right to discipline that child either. 
Parenting is so hard, these toddlers drain you mentally & physically but at the end of the day they still are babies. They have no understanding or anything.. 
I hope you are able to sort something out or leave if necessary.

Answer

So what I'm getting here is that you're the model parent and can spank your child but if your partner, the child's FATHER, tried to discipline him it's not okay?
I don't care for my husband correcting our child, but the only time I refuse to let him spank him is when he's too mad. Smacking his diaper and stuff is fine.
And as far as the verbal threat goes, I speak for quite a few parents that have been there and done that out of anger. Was it necessary? No. But in the heat of aggravation things slip out.
Being a parent is hard, but it seems like you think that you're a model mother and make no mistakes but your partner does. You made the baby together, you're in charge of disciplining It together and yeah you may not be on the same page, but cut the guy some slack. Parenting especially a toddler is rough

Answer

I know toddlers can be rough and overwhelming, but it’s not intentional. He’s way too little to expect him to understand that, he just thinks he’s playing ☹️ You need to ask yourself if you think that’s setting your husband would do to an innocent child. If it is, then you have TWO children who can’t control their emotions, my dear. But only one is capable of causing serious, painful, LIFE ALTERING, SPIRIT BREAKING, injuries to the other.

Answer

So its okay you to tap on the diaper but he cant get frusterated ?

uhm what?

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