We have been married 8 years. We just had our fourth child two weeks ago via c section. Our first three are triplets and this baby was a surprise but very wanted after the initial shock wore off.

My husband takes meds for bipolar disorder. When he’s taking the meds like he should he’s amazing, happy, an involved parent, fun but when he’s not he’s a different person. He’s mean, angry and I’m always the enemy. It’s obvious when he comes off the meds for any period of time.

When we went to the hospital to have the baby two weeks ago he “forgot” to bring the meds with him. I told him to go home to get them since we would likely be there for a few days but he refused saying he didn’t want to miss the birth. I had a c section so it was scheduled but he still refused “just incase”. Well the baby was born and he’s perfect and I’m on cloud nine. However, as soon as he arrives my husband falls into his unmedicated slump. Barely talking to me, doesn’t want to hold the baby. We get home and it doesn’t change. The day we get home he says he wants a divorce because this is all too much for him. He started looking at places to live and emailed divorce attorneys. I was floored but agreed if that’s it hat he wanted. The thing is once he’s off the meds he refuses to take them again. He tells me HIS need for meds as prescribed by a doctor is all in MY head and that I only want him to be medicated because I don’t want him to “get on me about stuff”. To cut a long story short he got back on for a week and apologized for his actions the day we got home but the last four days he has for some reason obviously been off them again. He admitted it. Said he ran out and “hasn’t had a chance to pick up his new ones” and it’s no big deal because he doesn’t need them. I’m two weeks out from a csection and he’s literally leaving me to take care of four kids alone. He’s off work to help out and he’s spending most of the day in bed. When I ask why, he complains the kids are too loud and cry too often and this was my dream not his. I’m floored. We both wanted these kids so I have no idea where he’s getting that from. I have no family close by to help me so he’s my only lifeline for help and he’s missing the mark hugely. He goes back and forth between saying he wants a divorce and wanting to get a second job so he doesn’t have to be here listening to the “crying all day”. Yesterday he sat in the kitchen next to the TRASH CAN and slept against it in the middle of me making dinner because he obviously doesn’t get enough attention if he’s in the bedroom.

What do I do? I’m exhausted. One of our triplets is autistic so she cries all day long because having a newborn baby around is such a big change for her. We’re working through it in therapy thankfully but my husband is no help at all and I only have two hands and I’m not supposed to lift heavy. Our daughter only sleeps about 5 hours at night and it’s me who gets up to soothe her when she wakes up crying. Our newborn is very laid back thankfully but I’m still up every two hours with him because he needs to eat and I’m exclusively breastfeeding.

What would you do? He claims it isn’t the lack of meds making him like this, this is how he always feels, the meds just make him forget how much he hates his life and how this isn’t what he wanted. But when he’s medicated he claims he does want this life and he loves us and we’re all he has, that his life would fall apart without us. I feel so helpless because I’m so newly postpartum. Any advice would be appreciated.