To my ex...

I know you'll never get to read this, which is partly why I'm writing it here. Telling you all this to your face would be pointless because you've moved on now and I don't want to stand in the way of your happiness

I miss you, I miss you so much it physically hurts. Our relationship wasn't easy, we argued so much and you hurt me a lot. All the times you said those hurtful things, pushed me around and put your hands on me. Maybe I deserved it for pushing you to that point. Maybe I'm the toxic one, maybe I'm so toxic because I'm the one sat here crying and alone while you're happy now with someone else. Is this my karma? I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't be good enough to make you happy. I did try, I would have given the world just for you to love me back as much as I loved you. I always told you that you were the love of my life and I meant it. When I think of you I don't think about the names you would call me every day, or the anger in your voice forcing yourself to talk to me. At some points you wouldn't even let me come into the same room as you, none of that comes into my mind when I think of you. I just remember the good times and my heart breaks. I wish I could go back in time and re-live those happy days. Now my days are empty. Why do I still love you so much when you don't care at all about me. I've started therapy and medication because it's all too much. I don't see me ever moving on, I just miss you. Everyone has that one special person in their life, their soul mate. You were mine. You were the other half of me and now I don't know what to do. I'm broken beyond repair