I really feel like I’m losing it. I love my baby. I do. But I don’t love my life right now. I’m going back to work in about two weeks which I think will help, but right now it’s just… endless. My LO is one month old and the repetition and monotony is getting to me. She cries. A lot. So every nap is a struggle, and it just repeats itself every three hours, all day every day. I’m tired of it. I hate it. I don’t want to do it anymore and sometimes I resent my LO for being so needy. I’m tired of not being able to eat, or sleep, or shower when I want. She’s always there, always crying or eating or needing to be rocked to sleep. Obviously I realize she’s a baby and isn’t doing it on purpose. But my thoughts are my thoughts and I can’t help it.

Not sure what I’m looking for in this post. I know I probably have PPD, at least slightly. But what am I supposed to do? I know the recommendation will be to talk to someone but really, how will that help? They can’t make me like this life. Medicine? I’ve been on lots before and can’t see how that would help. Even once I go to work, I’ll still be on baby duty alllll morning til I leave around 2. Then work, then baby duty all night, then repeat… forever? And yes, of course I knew I’d be responsible forever for this baby, but I didn’t realize it would be quite this… hard.