Am I wrong for being upset?

Question

My husband and I have been married for a little over a year. We have a 1 year old and a baby on the way. He also has a 15 year old and 13 year old. His family has never been a big fan of me, tbh idk why. The first time I came to meet his family I said hi and everyone just walked past and ignored me. He told me not to worry about it that they “are like that.” My stepson had his 8th grade graduation at the end of may and I was there with my husband but his whole family was there after the ceremony they all got up to take pictures with him and left me out of it. I told my husband I was upset about that and he apologized and said it wouldn’t happen again. About a month later his sister scheduled family pictures for everyone and their families but my husband went to take them with only his 13 year old son. Did not include me (his wife) his 15 year old daughter or his 1 year old son. I talked to him before and told him not to go because if we weren’t all going to be in it then how was that a family picture. He still went and when he came back I talked to him again and told him I was super upset. He said he only went because if he didn’t his sisters feelings would be hurt. I asked him “so your sisters feelings are more important than your wife’s and daughters” and he replied with “I’m sorry.” Now today he asked me if I would be mad if he went to San Antonio without me and our baby, which honestly I wouldn’t but I asked him for what was he going and he said to visit his sister, I asked why couldn’t I come. And he said she doesn’t like people over at her house. I AM LITERALLY HIS WIFE. He said it’s just gonna be me and my 2 kids. UM, HELLO YOU HAVE ANOTHER KID AND ANOTHER ON THE WAY. She also comes down to where we live a lot and she never stops by to visit my husband he has to go to one of his sisters house to go see her. I mentioned that to him and he just said “yeah.” I got upset and started crying because I just feel so left out, my family has never treated him this bad or ever made him or his 2 kids feel left out! Am I just overreacting or do I have a right to be upset about this?

Accepted Answer

The problem is your husband, not his family. You’re not married to his family, you’re married to him. It’s him who is not only allowing the behavior, but encouraging it. 
You’re not wrong for being upset. It’s time to have a serious conversation with your husband about the future of your marriage and your role in his life.

Answer

I’d be livid, more with my husband for not standing up to them.

Answer

I’d be pissed. My husband better side with me.

Answer

You have every right to be upset! He needs to grow a backbone and stand up for his wife and other children. If his sister is this angry about whatever it is, then that’s her issue.

Answer

Your husband needs to be putting you first. He is absolutely wrong in this situation. I would feel heartbroken.

Answer

Every right to be upset and theres defi itely an issue there. If he cant or wont stand up for you and your kids he isnt much of a husband and makes it sound like he denies or doesnt acknowledge he fathered your kids or his daughter if he isnt including them in "family photos"

Answer

How is your 1 year old going to feel being the "other" child who gets excluded? Im fine with my husband doing things with his family independent of me, but in this case theyre refusing to acknowledge you or his child.

Answer

I would be telling him I’m considering divorce over this. If his family doesn’t like you, whatever. Oh well. If his family still excludes you from everything, and he doesn’t defend you but even excludes you himself and his child with you, he’s the biggest problem of all. You’ve told him three times now how this makes you feel and he’s apologized and said it won’t happen again, yet it keeps happening. This is your future if you stay. If you divorced he likely would still exclude his children with you from family gatherings on his side, but imo that’s better than staying with him and your children constantly watching daddy take the other two siblings out with him and leaving them behind.

Answer

I had a ex like this, he would compartmentalize everything .. his family was his family, his friends were his friends & I was his gf. Seemed like I was there just for his pleasure & to keep him happy - that was all. He is an ex for a reason!  This is a HIM problem, not his family. He is allowing his family to treat you this way. They are just cosigning his actions. I am a very family oriented person, I couldnt be w/ someone like this let alone MARRY someone like this.

Answer

I'd be very upset. Not so much at his family, though that would be painful. I'd be upset with my husband for caring more about his family than his own wife. He should not be treating you like this, regardless of his family!

Am I wrong for being upset?

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products