Just a rant I suppose. My SIL has been living with me from 3 months (luckily only one week left). She has this thing with noises, like severe anger and anxiety if there are certain sounds. Which is whatever except for she actually got enraged on week 2 of living here and stormed out one night when I was doing the DISHES too loudly (in my own house, after cooking a whole meal for her and my family). Which really hurt my feelings and made me feel self conscious that I’m going to set her off. But then she said that she would do the dishes every night, so I’m like okay well shoot I can’t be mad if she will do that.

Background, I have trouble keeping a clean house, but the one routine I am VERY consistent in is doing dishes every night and unloading the dishwasher every morning. If I don’t do it at night, it totally messes up my whole day and I’m behind and don’t get any other cleaning done and then my whole house goes to crap.

Well for a few weeks after that she did dishes every night and it was great. Then she started work and she didn’t clean the dishes on days where she went out to eat...wish typically would be fair, but if I can’t do the dishes without her getting pissed, then I think she should still do them even if she doesn’t make dinner.

Now she almost never does the dishes, even if she eats with us. It’s been totally screwing up my routine. Also, after dinner I get my son ready for bed, he asks her to read to him a couple books, and then I put him to bed (which takes a long time for him to fall asleep). So she does help with his book, and she does things with my son other times which is nice....but she sits on her phone for a long time at night so she COULD do the dishes.

Idk if she thinks since she’s at work all day and I’m a SAHM that I should have time to do it??? But like I said, I reallyyy rely on this dishes routine so they don’t pile up.

She also has not once cleaned the bathroom she shares with my son. I’ve never seen her so much as wipe a counter or the table, vacuum the floor. Her stuff is scattered all around my living room which is understandable since she sleeps on our couch and doesn’t have place to put her stuff, but there is little attempt to consolidate it.

I am a very cluttered person, but trying to change that, so maybe she thinks since the rest of the house is messy it’s fine if she doesn’t clean up. But the house is in a much worse state now, especially since she stopped doing the dishes.

Should I start asking her to do it every night? Should I just start doing it myself despite weather she gets mad or not? Again, she is helpful with my son and she will get us groceries sometimes, but she lives here for free and I feel like she thinks I’m her housewife and not her temporary roommate??