I need help - postnatal depression ?

I’m 6 days postpartum and I think I’m developing postnatal depression. I had a really traumatic time during hospital. My midwife never went through my birth plan with me she suggested i do it at home, I did it the night before she booked me in for an induction. I was told having a c section was not my choice to ask for only for medical reasons. I was offered the induction because baby was weighing big. I put that I wanted the gel when I got to the hospital I was told the way the induction would go isn’t my choice and they would start with the tampon and then the gel. A lot happened that I can’t remember I was in labour for 3 days, I was given more opinions by midwife’s than assisted I was refused pain relief like codeine once he was born I had to have an emergency c section. I lost 1.5point of blood and they never told me why my blood pressure was low and they gave me a drip. I was in so much pain after they took the epidural out straight after the surgeon was done with the stitches. They only gave me paracetamol IV the midwife said I’m in pain because I don’t have a good pain tolerance

When he was born I felt like I’ve always known him, when I got home my partner started giving me bad advice like you can make his bottle from the water from the tap, getting frustrated with me that I wasn’t giving him attention, my step dad told me it was over kill when the paramedics came out to check if he had jaundice and he did, my confidence just slipped, I can’t remember anything I don’t really know where I am, in the hospital I kept hearing him cry while he was next to me and he wasn’t crying, I felt like my bond was already there when he was born and now feel like it’s been interfered and dictated I no longer want to hold him, I’m starting to not care about him, i look at him and I don’t know who he is, I don’t remember having him, it all feels like a lucid dream, I leave him to cry for a bit now, I just stare at him I don’t feel anything I feel so low and depressed, the intensity of anxiety I felt about his safety and health has gone, I kept getting extreme Intrusive thoughts and they gone, I didn’t sleep I was scared, he swollen mucus and they didn’t tell me how he would handle that after he was born I had to figure it out my mum screamed for help as he was chocking on sick and mucus and it wasn’t until then we were told about it, they wouldn’t give me any formula they said it was for emergency’s only, my partner said I’ve made it out to be a lot more worse than what it was please help me I don’t feel like I can reach out to anymore, that I am being over dramatic, I’m being told He is here now that’s the important part, but what about me? I’m being told my baby loves me but it doesn’t bring me joy I don’t feel anything