How do I stop ?

Question

Ever since the pandemic started I’ve been super anxious about Covid(keep in mind I’ve had Covid before when I was 12 weeks pregnant with my first ) and I’m like a Covid freak .. I constantly sanitize, will be uncomfortable if people stand to close to me where ever I may be, I shower twice a day, never take my mask off unless I’m home and feel safe, get upset if people aren’t wearing a mask in populated spaces yea I know it’s weird… my daughter is 9 months old and I feel like I’m slowly ruining and taking her child hood away because people think I’m ‘over exaggerating’ on how much I care about taking precautions… I just feel super uncomfortable and and feel like my over exaggerating has helped us dodge Covid for 9 months but I don’t want to keep her away from what any kid would want to experience … my family hates that about me but I don’t know how to stop ? Do I see a therapist ?

Answer

I want to say that I relate to this post so much. It’s so hard, I was 20 weeks when the lockdown first happened. My son was born in aug 2020, this was before vaccines or us really knowing anything about how it spread and the severity it had on babies and families. I was so anxious, I couldn’t see anyone outside my home without having a panic attack. Masks on all the time, constantly cleaning and sanitizing, I’d come home and strip down and throw my clothes in the washing machine and shower. I’d sanitize my glasses and phone and wallet every time I’d come home too. My husband’s family had the same reaction, I got a lot of flack for keeping my son away and safe. I was very irritable with them because we asked for space after he was born (I had a traumatic birth) and they came over the day I got home while I still had a catheter in and took their masks off, coughed in their hands, grabbed my newborn and kissed him. I wanted to grab him so bad, I tried to get up but I had a full episiotomy and c section so I couldn’t move and basically kicked them out of my house. We got Covid in April for the first time and I didn’t sleep, I was so anxious, I checked my kids constantly. 
I didn’t seek help or therapy, it started to lesson over time, my guard started to fall. It’s up right now because hand foot and mouth is rampant in my town but I don’t immediately run to shower when I get home, I change my clothes and wash my hands. I still sanitize my phone. I don’t take my kids if I don’t have to. That often means I run errands by myself on my husbands days off and if I need stuff through the week I do an online order and drive to the store for pick up. 
You’re a new mom, a pandemic as a new mom is scary, it’s unpredictable. The generations before us didn’t face something as severe as this when they had kids or babies, so they have no right to judge you on how you face it and choose to parent. 
If you feel that you’re at a point where you are impacted by this daily then absolutely seek help, they might be able to calm your worries💜

How do I stop ?

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