Should I bring this up to my husband again or let it be?

Question

I was breastfeeding my son and my husband was on FaceTime with his mom. He decided it would be a good idea to show his mom our baby nursing actually on my boob. He walked over to me and I put my hand up like wtf? In the past he’s asked if he can send pictures of our son nursing to his mom, and I’ve said hard no every time, and when his parents visit us I go in a different room to breastfeed bc I’m not comfortable being half naked in front of his parents. So in the time he was showing his mom our son nursing on FaceTime, the baby unlatched and she just saw my whole nipple. Great. And it’s possible that his dad and 2 grandmas saw all this also. 
After the call I told my husband never again. I told him he should know not to show me on FaceTime without asking even if I’m fully dressed (earlier that day he showed me to his mom again when I was in only a bra and shorts, I didn’t say anything bc the bra could be mistaken for a shirt). I told him if I didn’t want him to send breastfeeding pics to his mom why would I be ok with FaceTiming her to show her? 
He said okay and he said my body is not sexual anymore it’s just a ‘beautiful thing’ that I’m able to feed our son from my body and he’s proud of me and that everyone wants to see it in action. I told him absolutely not, it’s still my body I’m not just existing to feed our son. We finished the conversation and it seemed over. 
But my in laws are coming over this weekend and I feel so gross and uncomfortable and violated and I’m just really dreading seeing them. Should I bring this up to my husband again? Or is there no point? I’m so mad at him.

Accepted Answer

i don’t think it needs to be brought up again

Answer

I wouldn't bring it up again unless it happens again. It sounds like he's just really proud of you and excited.

Answer

Yeah I really can't believe he even thought it was okay to take pictures of you or video to send to his family while you're nursing that is a huge boundary issue and especially if you've already told him before no and he still keeps trying I personally would have a very serious conversation about it before it happens again. 
And when you're in-laws come over and it's time to nurse get up and go in another room and close and lock the door if it makes you feel better. 
Honestly if you're in-laws are asking for pictures and videos you have every right to bring it up to them too and let them know that yes breastfeeding is beautiful thing and it's not sexual but you absolutely will not be having pictures and video of it sitting around for everyone to look at because that is a private thing between you and your child that shouldn't be made into a show.

Answer

I would.. not make it a huge thing but just remind him that you feel more comfortable keeping the breastfeeding stuff private so you will be leaving the room to nurse. I’d tell him I’m feeling uncomfortable about it all still, just so he really sees how uncomfortable you felt about it all 
Also I’d be so mad about it all and that he said your body is just a natural thing now and not sexual.. like I think he had to be mis-speaking or something and meant for others to see that that’s what they’d think… you still want your husband to feel like your body is sexual tho. Not in the act of feeding your baby or course but for him to say that overall, I’d have a problem with.
Again I’d try to not make it a big deal but I’d say something really quick about it just so the situation doesn’t come up again 
Sorry he’s not respecting your boundaries

Answer

I absolutely would. That is not ok ! idk what he was thinking. Doesn't have to be a fight but give him a reminder

Answer

There’s no reason to bring it up again. You already discussed it.

Answer

While I applaud to your husband about being fascinated that the women body is designed to nurture their child and I’ll Solaris that your in-laws don’t find out taboo to breastfed like mine do it’s still a boundary that you’ve set and he over stepped
Not sure how the conversation went between you and your husband time wise
I wouldn’t bring it up unless it Happens again 
And when/if it happens again I’d explain to him it’s your body you don’t feel comfortable with everyone seeing your nipple etc say you’re happy he supports you and happy your in-laws are supportive as well but you would like for it not to be broadcasted to god parents at all

Answer

I think its okay to remind him again. I know my husband and i communicate like that just to make sure were both clear. It didnt seem like it was made entirely clear as you said that it just ended. Some men dont understand and need to be told a few times. And let him know you just want to make sure that he understands. Nothing wrong with that.

Answer

Honestly no it does not need to be brought up again. Unless your trying to cause a fight. It sounds to me like he got the point.

Answer

Oh my god, I’d be enraged.

Should I bring this up to my husband again or let it be?

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