AITA?

Question

I thought I would post this for some insight. Idk maybe I’m the a**hole in this case but I need another party to tell me so. Background:we just had a baby three weeks ago and husband went to work about a week and a half ago. We have a two year old too. Feel free to be brutally honest bc I really want to know. Btw this conversation started at 5:07pm.

And yes it was his birthday when we had this conversation but I felt like his comment was being petty and unappreciating of what I had been doing all day. I’m a stay at home mom and homeschool my oldest. I had a C-section with my second born and it’s been a rough recovery. I really was try to cook him his favorite meal before he came home. He gets home at different times so I always try to make sure there’s something to eat before 6:30.

Accepted Answer

My husband went back to work two days after my c section and if that man would have told me anything about dinner, I would have been pissed off. Bitch YOU make ME dinner, my stomach is still sliced open, I’m still taking care of your child and I didn’t sign up to take care of a man child. 🙄

Answer

I don’t think you are an AH. You literally just gave birth to a baby less than a month ago. You are still in recovery from it, which was a major surgery might I add. Not only that you are taking care of your older children. I personally think your husband needs to cut you some slack. You are still trying to find the groove of things with the addition to the family all while healing quite literally from the outside in. So of course you are not going to be even at 80% of your old self yet. If it was me I would tell him he can cook dinner if he wants it so bad.

Answer

Honestly it sounds like he meant well to begin with when you first started the conversation & I can see why you got defensive towards his comments, but It seems like to me he just didn't say what he meant the right way & it comes of as he is being rude. Y'all just had a baby 3 weeks ago it's gonna take some time to find a routine. I think y'all are probably sleep deprived & got a lot going on & seem stressed out .... Maybe surprise him with his birthday dinner and a movie tomorrow night, put the kids in bed & y'all will have time to enjoy each other & talk about some of these things. I don't think anyone is the asshole here... I think this is simply all the changes & less time focused on y'all & more on the kids. Don't worry it will get better, you just gotta do the work! Good luck 🤞

Answer

I think he’s saying he wants to eat earlier so if it’s too hard right now for you with the kids and everything then he said you guys can use the grocery money to order out instead of buying all the groceries. I would have said yes lol less work for me.

Answer

It sounds like he meant well to begin with just didn’t communicate his feelings the right way. If it was his birthday he probably wanted to say “don’t cook and let’s go out instead”. Sounds like both of you are having a rough time. You just had a baby and are overwhelmed as well. I wouldn’t blame either one of you.

Answer

So it seemed like he wasn’t trying to,start anything, he was asking if u wanted to go out to eat so you wouldn’t have to cook and he could get dinner sooner bc it seemed like maybe you were having a bit of trouble adjusting and yeah he’s prolly hungry when he comes home. I didn’t get a vibe from him like he was shitting on you, just that he was trying to see if you’d like to do something else for dinner. I can see though, how you could take it that way and think he was criticizing you or trying to start something. But ultimately I do think you should probably apologize because i don’t think he was starting an argument or anything.

Answer

He's for sure the asshole. He's clearly only thinking of himself and his stomach. If he has a dinner time in mind then he can fucking cook. Why is it all on you when you literally just gave birth? He sounds like a child "bUT iTs mY biRThdAY!" Like come on.

Answer

I would of gotten aggravated too when he said if you don’t want to cook let’s stop buying groceries. Can he really not make himself something to eat?

Answer

To me he was being a dick. You just had a baby and were cut open he needs to back off. I feel like he knew he was being rude or he would have said it to your face. Also he could have just been like hey if you haven’t started don’t cook I’ll bring something home. I wouldn’t take him complaining to heart.

Answer

I don’t think it’s productive to put the blame on either party. I think you’re emotional and overwhelmed and just had a baby so emotions are running high and I think he was just trying to communicate. Things will settle and you’ll have a routine and it’ll work out whether you cook or y’all eat out every meal. It’s important to just be on the same page and be a team to get the work done every day.

AITA?

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products