Husband vs Family

My husband and I have been together for 7 years now. We have 3 kids (2 are his, my oldest is from a previous relationship). He has been in the picture since my oldest was 5. He is now 12 years old and hasn't always been the easiest child to raise. I have struggled for almost his whole life trying to navigate his emotions and my family tends to get in the way. When my husband came along, he accepted him like he was his own. Never once has my husband said or done anything that would make you think he does or doesn't feel a certain way about him. My son does still see his dad every other weekend as he lives out of state. There have been some behavior changes which I anticipated becoming a preteen and obviously I don't always expect kids to be on their best behavior. No one is. Last year, he has a classmate and friend die in a tragic and traumatic situation so I just assumed the events caused some behavior changes. But I just found out my son will tell my brother things like "I only want to see my parents 2 days a week and I'd rather live with my dad if he lived in town." My brother (who has his own kid he barely takes care of) told my son his living situation would be so much better if he could just come live with him. Since my brother lives at home with my parents, they have now gotten involved pretty much agreeing with brother saying my husband is too strict and my kid needs more freedom. I have discussed with him being strict because he has his moments but he's not mean or aggressive with any of the kids we have. He has high expectations for our kids which I think can be a bit unrealistic. Am I not seeing the whole issue because I'm with my husband or are my parents out of line? I am stuck in the middle and am at a loss for what to do 😭