Traumatic birth experience. Please share your opinion

Hi everyone,

I had a very traumatic birth experience and it has been haunting me for weeks. I just wanted to share it here because I wanted to know if anyone has experienced the same. I had my contractions around 2am and they were very strong and happening every few seconds. Without any delay my husband and I reached the hospital only for the midwife to say that I was not in active labor. (there were no doctors available that time expect for the midwife). She checked my cervix and told I was only 2.5 cm dilated. By then my pain was getting worse. I could hardly talk or do anything during that pain. I requested the midwife to check me again as the pain was unbearable and I started feeling pressure below. But the midwife constantly kept telling me that I was exaggerating the pain and I was still 2.5 dilated. Though I kept telling her that I had intense pain she ignored it and gave me Tylenol. She advised us to go back home and rest or take a shower and told that it might take hours or days for me to go into active labor. I begged her to admit me for which she denied and gave me the discharge papers. With the pain me and my hubby went back home. I remember crying in pain all the way back. But as soon as I reached home I felt pelvic pressure and had the urge to push. My water didn’t break during all this time. I knew something was wrong. I immediately informed my husband and screamed at him telling I need to go to the hospital ASAP. I was screaming in pain and I had severe urge to push. I knew the baby was about to come. I thought I would give birth in the car but luckily I reached the hospital and when the midwife saw me all she was asking was did my water break. I was unable to talk due to the pain. I was screaming throughout. The nurses rushed towards me and this midwife was telling them that again that I was not in active labor. By that time I was so ready to push out the baby and luckily one of the Doctors came and he told me that he needed to check my cervix. By that time the baby head was almost out and they rushed me to the labor ward and they popped the water, with just one push my daughter came out. I hemorrhaged very badly after that and they had to insert a catheter to reduce the bleeding. After that experience and staying in the hospital for 2 days, the day I got discharged I noticed severe bleeding with big blood clots so I had to go again to the hospital. The doctor suggested that i get a D & C done to get those clots removed. Though the surgery was only for 30 minutes, after it I experienced very bad cramping and bleeding and I couldn’t even get up from bed. I cried for several hours. I couldn’t even hold my baby or feed her. She was formula fed till I was able to recover. I struggled with breastfeeding initially as my daughter would only take a bottle. I was depressed and exhausted. I felt like a failure. I also have a toddler (2 year old) at home so she was also demanding my attention and I was struggling. Physically and mentally I was in so much pain. And I’m still unable to forget whatever happened to me and I get panic attacks at times in the middle of the night. I spoke about this to everyone I know and they don’t seem to understand me. I cry myself to sleep every day. I love my children but this experience has taken a huge toll on me. I don’t know if the midwife was Inexperienced and gave a false information because how can a person who is 2.5cm dilated become completely dilated in few minutes?? Please tell me what you guys feel. I really want to know if it’s possible or not.