Depression

Now that the holidays are coming up I feel my depression is a lot worse. I haven’t had a holiday with my brothers in over 6 years, Christmas morning will be five years since I lost my grandmother, I know it’s been a bit but I haven’t completely gotten over her death. I start work on the 28th this month so I’m excited. But I’m worried my depression is going to interfere with it and I’m scared to ruin it. I don’t really have anyone to vent to I do have a therapist but I don’t feel she’s much help. I am on medication but not sure now that I’ll be paying for health insurance how this is all going to work out. I don’t get to see my dad because of my step sister has issues with me due to a comment that her boyfriend said to me. My nephew got adopted due to my brothers drug habits so I don’t really get to see him. I just feel so alone. I have no friends and I’m 29 years old and I’m just starting to get my life together. I just fail like I’ve let myself down :(