Hi! This is just an issue that I’ve been going through alone. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months. We’re both 17. Past months we would do sexual stuff but never penis in vagina. So we’re both still virgins. But I have a weird thing where I freak out thinking that I could be possibly pregnant even though I know 99% sure I’m not. But I freak out regardless. I never struggled with anxiety until recently.

Like for example, recently I gave my boyfriend oral and he ejaculated. Afterwards he wiped his hands and helped me with my shirt and sweater and then my underwear. I’ve been stressing over the fact that I could be pregnant at the tiny chance of him having moist hands and transferring sperm onto my underwear and me accidently getting pregnant. Yeah I know crazy right? He told me that his hands were dry, but I still worry. I know it would be a miracle that I could be pregnant but I still freak out so much to where I don’t even want to eat anymore.

I used to be around 140 pounds when we first started dating. But every time I’d get a scared or bad anxiety, I get so sick to where I don’t wanna eat. I’d only have a meal a day because of my anxiety of an impossible pregnancy. I’m now 118.5 pounds.

I don’t know, my boyfriend always asks if we can have sex but I don’t know if I’m up to it. I’m so scared of being pregnant. I’m afraid he might leave me due to myself saying “no” all the time. He doesn’t make me feel bad or guilt trip me. He’s very understanding but he’s always wanting more. We usually hangout but he’d say “let’s cuddle in the back of the car”. In the beginning of the relationship I thought it was cute and that we’d cuddle. But almost everytime, he’d wanna make out with me or/and he wants me to give him oral or try’s to get me horny.

He’d never force me to do anything I wouldn’t want to do, but I still feel bad. It’s not like I don’t wanna loose my virginity to him. It’s just that I wished we do normal things more. Like shopping, going out to eat, walk in a mall, etc. instead of him driving me to a park to get in the back and makeout.

Like don’t get me wrong, I love making out with him but usually when we do, he wants more and then it becomes sexual.

I haven’t confronted my boyfriend about my issues yet. We’re very healthy and very communicative towards each other. But I’m just afraid he’s sick of it already.

He would beg to have sex but I’d always say no in the end. Even when he finally gives up, he would say “maybe you’ll change your mind later” after making out and sexual things. And like always, I never change my mind. Why is it that I’m not inclined to have sex as much as him? I’m I normal? I know my fear is really holding me back tremendously.

Am I wrong for wanting a wholesome relationship? My worries are making me wanna not do anything sexual, because of how scared I get. Any advice anyone?