I will admit to being very naive and clueless about motherhood before becoming a mother. I now have two children under two and an amazing husband. I stay at home tub my children and my husband is self employed so he works everyday. It’s tough out here so he does what he needs to provide for us. I know how privileged I am to be able to stay home with my girls, but damn… it is so difficult. It’s just the girls and I about 80% of the time.

Most of the women in my family are single moms. I bring this up because I know they know how difficult it is to raise children. Yet, none of them reach out to me to see how i’m doing or ask if I need help. Is that too much to expect? Maybe I should lower my expectations.

I spoke to my mom recently how I feel so slighted by her because she helps out so much with my brother, SIL, and niece, but my children and I get the shit end of the stick. She will watch my niece if my SIL wants to get her hair done, but she flakes on me when I just want some time to study. I told her I was hurt by her actions, so like a reasonable adult, she has not talked to me since this conversation.

I’m graduating next week, so my grandma is flying in to watch me walk. I just need to add that my grandma is still very young, only 30 years older than I am. Prior to coming, she tells me how she is so excited about spending time with me and the kids and how she’ll help me while she is here. I ofc am very excited about this. She arrived today and my husband picked her up from the airport and dropped her off at the house and then went to work. Not kidding, my grandma is at my house for 1.5 hours max and then takes one of our vehicles to go to dinner with some other family members (which ofc we aren’t invited to).

I know I didn’t do anything to be treated like this and man… it hurts. I feel like after I had kids, i became the black sheep in the family. No one forewarned me how lonely and isolating motherhood would be.

I don’t know what I want to accomplish with this post… Just needed to vent.