Leading up to Christmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> I told my mom many many times that I’d need to leave by 8pm as to not mess up my baby’s bedtime too much. We’re going through the 4 month regression and it’s very difficult so my husband and I need to get to bed at the same time as LO in order to get any sleep since LO is up every two hours. LO is 4.5 months old.

I asked to have an early dinner like we do for thanksgiving. She wanted to eat at 8/9pm and open presents at midnight since that’s our tradition, but this year we have a baby and there’s no way we could stay that late. It was a huge debate on what time to start. She agreed to compromise by planning to open presents early at 3pm and eat at 5pm. So we rush through our morning breakfast gathering (we had my in laws over for breakfast and I had to clean after) to get to mom’s house on time. We got there at 3pm, and at 8pm, we were in the car driving home, and we never ate dinner. All I ate today was the breakfast I prepared for my in laws visit, at 11am. I’m still EBF so I grabbed a bagel and an apple from her house to eat on the drive home so I’d be able to produce milk for my baby for his night feeds. But it’s not enough at all. I assumed we’d eat a huge dinner at 5pm bc that’s what was agreed to, but it just never happened. We opened some gifts and she was talking to extended family for literal hours. They’re going to eat around 830/9 probably.

Btw, I would have been totally fine if a 9pm dinner was the plan all along. I would have just brought my own meal and planned ahead. But to be strung along and without food was pretty bad and effects my milk supply.

Now she is calling me telling me she feels so bad that the day didn’t go as she wanted it to go. Idk what to say. I also planned to have Christmas Day home with just my husband and LO but she’s saying she’s going to bring all of LO (and mine and DH’s) presents over tomorrow. I need a day to rest bc I get migraines after social events. But I’m not available Monday so idk when presents will happen? I feel bad, but I told her clear boundaries and they were ignored.

I’m writing this at 5am, eating leftovers bc I didn’t have dinner. I’ve been up since 2am with a migraine but was more tired than hungry so I tried to wait it out but just felt more and more sick. I can’t believe how bad this holiday was and I’m just so thankful I’m not seeing anyone besides my husband and baby tomorrow.