Do children deserve gifts under the tree if

Question

My son is 4 he is a little mouthy and doesn’t listen.
Everyone around me thinks my son is BAD 
My son is not BAD he has ADHD 
some people think every brown child is diagnosed with ADHD and that’s neither here or there. 
Some people think ADHD is just an excuse people use some kids can continue to be “BAD”
I feel like every child deserves a Christmas big or small. 
Can u really expect a 4 year old to have good behavior all year
How can you punish a child for something they can’t control 
Well I bought my son gifts for Christmas and my spouse feels like because he’s disrespectful he doesn’t deserve anything. I told my spouse not getting him anything won’t change his behavior. He just be a child with behavioral problems whom happens to not have anything.
Now if he has something he loves and you take it away for a week or so or made the child earn it now that’s different 
So my 4 year old has yet to open his Christmas gift because he is disrespectful

Answer

I feel like a LOT of parents of children with ADHD sort of use that as an excuse when their child is, in fact, being bad or disrespectful. Like, your child does something that they should clearly be disciplined for but instead of doing that you just say "Oh, they don't know any better, they have adhd". Like, maybe, but it's still up to the parent to teach their child how to be respectful and not use their adhd as an excuse. It's easy as the parent to over look a LOT of what their child does, but also easy from the outside to see just how much that child is allowed to get away with. 
That being said, every child deserves to have something to open on Christmas. Withholding presents isn't going to change their behavior. In a lot of cases with small children it will make it worse because the child can see everyone else getting gifts and is too young to understand why they are not allowed to have theirs. There are plenty of other, acceptable ways to teach respect to your child other than making them feel alienated from everyone else on a holiday.

Answer

Every child should get gifts regardless of behavior. Their worth isn’t tied to their behavior.

Answer

People don’t realize how much impulse control is an issue for these children. I personally would not be happy with my husband if he felt this way. My son is diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety and has OCD tendencies. He gets anxious if something out of his control happens or if an adult suddenly makes a rule that wasn’t a rule before and he breaks it. Once, a friend of mine scolded him for taking food in the living room at our own house. To him, that’s not something that he knows is his rules so he was defiant and ignored her then had a crying fit when she took the bowl from him. I defended him and she was pissed. I didn’t care. This is his home where he knows his expectations. He also gets anxious and doesn’t know how to regulate that well and is easily upset. Kids are human. I’m sure your husband has done crap to not deserve presents. 🤷‍♀️

Answer

Im all for holding kids accountable for their actions, but I think that will lead to the child just resenting you. Kids need limits but they also need unconditional love.

Answer

Fill in the blank:
If a kiddo struggles to read, we teach.
If a kiddo struggles to add, we teach.
If a kiddo struggles to swim, we teach.
If a kiddo struggles to behave, we _________.

Answer

Taking away a child’s gifts is so very wrong On so many levels. By doing that they’d insinuating that the child’s worth is tied to their behavior, that the child is only deserving of love if they act in a certain way. I can’t imagine what doing something like that would do to their self esteem

Answer

Is your spouse his father or not? If he’s not I would be questioning this relationship quite a bit. He calls your child bad. Which I have an issue with. Behavior can be unexpected, or not something you want to see out of ur 4tear old. But no one should ever be calling him bad. That’s a sure fire way to do some damage to him.

Answer

There is absolutely no such thing as a bad child! He just needs to be supported while working through his big feelings. Some kids don’t struggle with regulation, others do and will need more time and patience. ❤️

Answer

If you take a toy away for a week for a four year old it's not a lot different. Kid has zero chance of understanding what the hell it's gone for because time is a lot different to them. It'll not even be a day into that punishment, and the kid will have zero clue why it's gone.
And it doesn't change adhd symptoms either.
But to answer your question, yes of course kids deserve presents for Christmas. They're kids.

Answer

Give that baby his gifts. Sounds like your husband doesn't deserve any gifts though. Your son deserves a good Christmas and to enjoy opening his gifts it's just cruel to keep them from him he's not a teenager or even out of pre k he's 4. He's still really young and learning and it's harder for him to learn but that's your job as a parent to be there for him and help him through his big emotions and feelings.

Do children deserve gifts under the tree if

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