Marriage and in law concerns

So, I'm kind of at my wits end with my husband's mother. I always got the impression that she had an issue with me even when we were just dating. She's the type of mom that gives the impression that she wants her son to "be the man/her man". Years ago she tried to get him to get an apartment with her to share the rent so that we wouldn't move in together. She has done petty things so many to count that I won't name all of them (including wearing white to our wedding and refusing to walk down the aisle like mothers generally do before the wedding party). So ff and my husband and I were expecting a child. She was very minimal in the baby shower and didnt do anything to help, it was left entirely up to my mother. When she showed up, she just brought something she got from the family dollar on her way- like she just didn't want to be bothered. She wasn't involved in the baby shower planning (guess it shouldn't be a shock- she didn't get involved with our wedding either). So Our child was born several months ago and she keeps telling my husband that she is sick so she can't meet our child. She's not sick but that doesn't matter. The final straw is that christmas came and she purchased gifts for my husband's son but not our child. Our daughter was totally left out on her first christmas. To add insult to injury, she purchased a gift for my husband's ex who he has the son with. My husband addressed it with her and as usual, there is a nonsense excuse as to why this happened. Keep in mind she never kept in touch with this ex or had a relationship with her. So how would you proceed moving forward especially when she is blatantly doing these petty things? I'm to the point where I don't want her to really be apart of our child's life because she's just awful. Like I said there has been many instances of petty/bad behavior but this is the most recent. My issue is now that I dont really want my husband's mother to be involved with our daughter but I also know it means alot to my husband to have his mother meet our daughter (even though her behavior is always questionable and even awful). My husband is really over her but ots also his mother so he is torn. Im not torn, I don't want to even be bothered with her but I also don't want to cause a rift with my husband. Any advice