Boyfriend makes me feel useless

Me and my partner have a one year old. I had a really traumatic birth which has resulted in me having PTSD and PPD. For the first 6 months of my babies life, I had VERY little help from my partner. He works long hours, and he would then spend the rest of his time at the gym. He didnt help at night with the baby or give me a break, and I spiralled massively with PPD and ended up suicidal. It took for me leaving him and I ended up in hospital getting mental health help, for him to start stepping up. He cut down going to the gym and was at home more to help with the baby, but thats made him depressed because hes not going to the gym as much. I’ve tried explaining over and over that I’ve given up my whole life to have a family, that HE wanted. I’ve lost my career, my friends, my hobbies, my identity, literally my whole life, and hes changed very little.

Although he doesnt go to the gym as much, and he comes home after work now to help with babies bed time, he still doesnt help me with anything round the house. I dont ask him to do much, I ask him the take care of the garbage and trash cans and clean up the dog poop in the garden. Thats it. I do EVERYTHING else. And i ask him to do the odd thing if something breaks, like we’ve had a leaking sink in the kitchen for months now that I’ve been asking him to fix and he just hasnt done it.

I’m also back at work now, I work from home but I work 3 long days a week and I’m the one left to deal with taking the baby to and from day care and sorting out everything with that and appointments and just everything. I’m totally burnt out and I feel totally unappreciated and I honestly feel like a slave in my own home sometimes. It takes something really minor like him leaving his dirty wet work clothes on the carpet for the 1000x time when I ask him to just put them in the clothes basket to push me over the edge. A minor thing, but when I spend my whole days struggling with a baby and tidying up after this man whilst hes living his normal life. I keep trying to explain to him how upset this all makes me and that I’m feeling really underappreciated, but it ends up with him arguing with me. He says he doesnt like coming home from work and me nagging him to do things. Hes sick of feeling like he cant do anything right. I put him down and make him feel like a bad partner. He threatens to leave every time as hes sick of the same thing. These are just some of the things he says every time. And i the one in the wrong by asking him to help round the house more? That i’m struggling and feeling totally unhelped?? I’ve told him that I feel so lonely, and so emotionally lonely as well because I just cant ask for help without him exploding on me. He says I dont smile at him when he comes home from work anymore, so he has no incentive to try and make an effort. I’m like, why would I smile at him when I’ve spent all day dealing with a crying baby alone and trying to fix a leak that I’ve been asking him to do for months? Its such stupid things but its totally breaking us apart. We had the same argument last night and I’ve told him I think I need a break because I feel so unloved and unheard at this point. He also constantly making “jokes” about the food I cook for him and stuff, saying i havent cooked things right or its not enough, so I said that makes me feel useless, he says hes joking and i cant take a joke anymore, but its hurtful to me. He also spends a lot of time on the playstation which I dont mind but will sit there watching me clean and stuff and I dont gave the time or money to have hobbies like this, I’m just broken and dont know what to do anymore. After arguments he’ll always apologise and say he’ll help more, he’s stressed with his job and takes it out on me, but a week later nothings changed and the constant cycle continues every time.