would you have another baby?

Question

i’m 29 and i have two kids. a 5 year old (from a previous relationship) and a 5 month old with my husband. i’m really tossing around the idea of having another one at some point. i thought i was done, but part of me wants 3 kids. 🫤 i just don’t know if i can afford daycare for 2 kids or if i could handle 3. also, my house isn’t HUGE. it has 4 bedrooms but still. i have a tubal litigation surgery scheduled for next month. 
my husband said he wants another one (not right now. but a year or two down the road), but would also be okay with not having one if that’s what i wanted. kids are just so expensive. well, daycare anyways 😅 but i know they’re not in daycare forever. would it be selfish of me to have another one?

Answer

I think if you aren't sure and your husband wants another you definitely shouldn't be going through with the surgery. Use some kind of birth control method for a while. Your baby is only 5 months. You could decide in a year or 2 that you're absolutely ready and if you've just had a tubal that will be complicated. A 4br home is plenty big enough and you could even wait until your youngest is in preschool or kindergarten to have another so you aren't paying for multiple kids in daycare. I would never get any surgical sterilization if a baby in the future is discussed.

Answer

if you’re thinking you might want to have another, definitely don’t get the surgery. maybe just get an IUD for now or something.. i’d hate for you to regret getting your tubes tied and then decide another one is what you want!

Answer

Cancel the appointment and think about the logistics more. Maybe rediscuss around your youngest first birthday.
We are 2 and done but we are 💯 on the same page

Answer

Nobody is EVER financially stable for kids.
Expenses will come up always sudden from any kind of event.
If you are already having second thoughts I'd cancel that appointment and just get on a good birth control until you reach a for sure decision. 
I have 2 kids and I definitely want more but I'm waiting until I feel READY and honestly I know will add more bills but that's fine with me.

Answer

From the perspective of someone that has a 3 year old and a 5 year old, whose 28… I don’t know your financial situation. However, children are expensive and the costs are only becoming more every year for everything. If it was me, I’d get the surgery. I had the surgery done. Sometimes I’ve been sad about it but overall I am so happy that I stopped there. But if you both think you might want another one, then maybe hold off. I love my kids but boy am I glad I stopped. The expenses alone for everything are outrageous. And it’s only getting worse. If you guys really want another kid, sit down and talk about saving money now. That way you’re better prepared.

Answer

Nah . Go for it . Budget for a few years . Worth it IMO . Currently pregnant with my third . I have a just turned 5 year old, 2.5 year old and will have a newborn in May.

Answer

I would have another one yes. No it's no selfish.

Answer

If you’re unsure, look into birth control methods other than tubal litigation. Reversal isn’t always possible. He your husband wants another too then it’s not selfish. Cancel the appointment and talk it over! Look at the pill, or an iud or something in the mean time!! Good luck!!

Answer

Definitely don't do the tubal if you aren't sure the reversal isn't always successful maybe go on a long last bc that is a lot easier to reverse than a tubal since you aren't sure.

Answer

If I was questioning my decision this much I would cancel my surgery and get and IUD or use some other form of BC for about a year. My husband and I did not go through with his vasectomy until we could both answer the question of are you done having children with a yes without any hesitation. We have 3 children and my husband really thought he was done with 2. After our 3rd we were both able to say we were ready to be done.

would you have another baby?

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