My bf is still in love with his ex?

Question

When I first started dating my bf he would always mention that him and his ex had a really toxic relationship and how he had to go to therapy to build himself back up after that relationship.
I asked him if he was over her and if he felt like he was ready for a relationship; he assured me that he was. 
I later found out that they still communicate because they’re friends and he’s know her family for a long time. I explained that I was uncomfortable with that but I let I go when I saw that their conversations were pretty innocent. 
I noticed that he talks about his ex sometimes, he’ll say things like "I’m so happy you did this with me, I did that with my ex but she it wasn’t a good experience " I was laying on him one day and the way I was laying reminded him of a funny story between him and his ex. 
Yesterday he told me that the met because he had a letter for her. I don’t really remember how the conversation when after that I said « I feel like you like me but you’re in love with her » he’s response was maybe. 
I’ve told me friends and they all keep telling me that they don’t believe that he’s in love with her but that he’s attached to her because all the toxic shit between them, kinda like Stockholm syndrome.
I’m confused.. I really like him and he treats me well, he’s honestly the best bf I’ve ever had but I don’t want to be stupid.
He sent me this message, trying to explain ig:

Answer

He’s allowed to feel how he feels but you don’t have to stick around for the roller coaster of him figuring out his feelings. I would definitely walk away, because his heart isn’t in it and he’s clearly hung up on her, which, okay fine, go deal with that on your own time and stop using me as a way to get over your ex (and doing a piss poor job at it). You deserve better.

Answer

Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Break up immediately. 
Just friends and soon he's going to accidentally slip and trip and bam dick inside her.
The fact is he's still attached to her and she 100% knows.
You're his rebound. Someone he can go to when wants to feel good about himself while she's not giving him what he wants again.
You deserve better.
You deserve to be someone's one and only.
Please leave him before get deeper in the relationship.

Answer

Girl get rid of this guy. Don't stay with guys who still talk to and see their ex.

Answer

I dont get the comments that are saying he's allowed to feel and have feelings. OP never said or told him he couldn't. It's not fair to any partner for their SO to constantly compare them to their ex(s) especially right to their face. It's disrespectful and hurtful. His mind should have already been made up when he got with OP. If it wasn't then he shouldn't have tried to get into another relationship because all its going to do is hurt an innocent person who didn't know what they were signing up for.
I would not waste anymore of your time with him. What's he's doing to you is not fair at all and he's dragging you along for the ride. I would tell him if that's what he wants and wants to go back to then fine but to leave you alone and quit contacting you. You don't need to put up with that kind of treatment. Don't settle and be someone's second choice or option. You deserve more respect then that.

Answer

I would walk away from this mess. I dont believe that most people can truly be friends with ex's anyway because if you were attracted to someone enough to sleep with them for a long time and you had emotional intimacy as well, that doesnt just go away. You may decide this doesnt work and choose to not act on it again, but I dont think feelings and attraction just vanish especially when they still talk regularly. So I dont believe in staying friends with an ex, only cordial friendly coparenting if a child is involved. But you feeling like he likes you but loves her and he cant clearly refute that, then saying hes just not going to talk to you about it because youll get upset....I dont have patience for stuff like this, personally.

Answer

Oh hell no aint nobody got time for that

Answer

Move on he’ll probably be with her in the side

Answer

He’s still in love and attached to his ex. Your friends
Are just trying to make you feel better. He’s not healed nor is he ready to be in another relationship

Answer

No woman should feel secondary to another woman, he should be putting you first always.

Answer

He's allowed to have feelings and of course you are allowed yours. You can't just remove your past, everyone talks about their ex's sometimes it's normal, we all have past memories. It sounds like he has some stuff he needs to deal with still. If you can't wait for him to fix himself that's more than fair, you don't have to but you can't keep making him feel bad for going through this. I'm still friends with some of my ex's and my partner is still friends with his. Some people are OK with that and some people aren't.

My bf is still in love with his ex?

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