Pregnancy

I've come to find I have tokophobia, so I'm on the fence to keep or not. I also have doubts of being a good mum, I'm scared of change, I'm scared I won't have my alone time and peace and quiet. I'm scared of committing to a huge responsibility. I never wanted to be a mum, I've always worried I'll fail my child like i've failed everything else in life so I avoided it the best I can. I'm 4 years off 30 btw so I'm at a good age to be a mum. I just don't know if I'm strong enough to do it (pregnancy and becoming a first time mum)

I'm 6 weeks and 4 days. Has anyone else gone through these emotions? Any tips on how to decide.. I really don't know how to decide. Leaning hard towards abortion and I feel selfish for that (wanna abort soy life can go back to how it was before I found out. So my routine doesn't change) has anyone wanted to abort so hard but came to change their mind, if so was having a kid worth it..