Am I right to be upset by this doctor?

Hi people,

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this but I wasn’t sure where else to. I went to the doctor yesterday to ask about the pain I have during sex, when inserting tampons, etc. and had a horrible experience. I’m American but moved to Denmark for college and you can’t go straight to the gynecologist here. You have to get a referral from the general doctor, so that’s why I went to my assigned general doctor’s office.

I explained the issue to the doctor and she said she wanted to examine me. I was very uncomfortable because she didn’t give me a gown or anything to put over my knees, I just had to pull my pants and underwear down while she was prepping the speculum. I talked to a Danish friend and she said this is normal in Denmark but I was sooo uncomfortable. I mentioned while I was undressing that this was my first time doing this type of examination but maybe she didn’t hear me or something.

So when I’m on the table with my legs up she just starts putting in the speculum without any warning and I flinched and stuff and she told me to cough while she was putting it in. I was too afraid and stressed though so I started crying a lot and told her that it hurt and she didn’t stop or anything. She was not slow with putting it in and didn’t warn me or anything about when she was going to start opening it, so I just kept choking out that it hurt. Then when she was done with the speculum she took it out and said she was going to use her fingers now and just started putting them in and kind of roughly and quickly feeling around. I told her it hurt again but she didn’t change anything or slow down (I was still audibly crying at this point). Then when she was done and she saw my face I think she asked something like if I’d done this before and I said “no” and felt frustrated because I’d told her that before she started. Then she acted all surprised like “really?? Never???” And regardless, I was pissed and hurt that she had been so quick and unresponsive when I told her that she was hurting me, especially when the whole reason I came was because it hurts to put things in my vagina.

I cried the whole bike ride home and now I don’t even want to look at my lower half naked or touch my vagina. I’m going through therapy right now for some bad sexual experiences so this really did not help and I feel worse than ever. Am I right to be bothered by how I was treated at this visit?