Worst things I've heard as a labor and delivery nurse: MOM EDITION

I'm a labor and delivery nurse and I thought I would post some of the worst things I've heard the birth mother's say:

"Ew.... I was hoping she wouldn't have any black"(Dad was black and this was a few days after giving birth and she got a little colour)

"What do you mean I can't smoke in here. I just had a baby. I'll do what I want".

"God Miranda we are going to the casino when I get out of here. Oh my daughter is 15. She's old enough to watch a newborn".

"My husband actually isn't the father but he doesn't need to know that".

"You're trying to kidnap my baby! My baby isn't positive for meth. I did drugs with my 4 others and they never came up positive"

(THE MOM TO HER HUSBAND IN FRONT IF THE MIL) "I don't want your mom touching our baby right now. If she's around her too early she might give our little girl her autism!"

I wish I was joking.... But when you've been an L&D nurse for 18 years you see some things